Lost Lupins
by Falconluv
Summary: Remus was once thought the Potters Traitor, but what if they confronted him? what if the Potters survived Voldemorts attack? A Pregnant Remus flees leaving Sirius, The Potters and the Order to realise their mistake. After Sirius finds out that Remus is c
1. Chapter 1

Remus smiled softly at the newborn baby he held against his chest. His son was beautiful, he had Remus's golden eyes and amber hair tinted with black making his hair look like a dirty blondish.

The medi witch did not need to ask whether Remus wanted her to call the other father, she already knew due to her consultations during the pregnancy that Remus wanted nothing to do with one Sirius Black.

It's a complicated tale, although in some ways it isn't its almost incredibly simple. The Potters and Sirius had suspected him of being the spy when they had confronted him he had truthfully denied it, no his secret was far more pleasant but hurtfully they hadn't believed him. They had tied him down in Dumbledores office the four (Peter Pettigrew watched gleefully) and Dumbledore were about to give him the truth potion when Remus managed to force his magic to activate the portkey he always carried.

The Portkey made him nauseous but he had little time to dwell, hurriedly forcing the bonds off him, Remus apparated as close to his private villa as possible. When he finally got their he was gasping for breath and he collapsed to the sofa gratefully.

Of course Pettigrew told Voldemort of the Potters whereabouts, but unfortunately for the Dark Lord they were prepared and escaped slightly injured with their year old son Harry who had vanquished Tom Riddle for good.

After that night The potters and the Order realised their mistake and letters pleading for him to forgive them and return reached Remus who burnt them, but after receiving letters from Sirius he had put a charm on himself and all his residencies making owls unable to find him.

At the same time Sirius Black glumly searched through his ex lovers things hoping to find any indication of where Remus had gone. What he found instead was Remus's journal. Flipping excitedly through it Sirius grew disappointed when the journal revealed no locations as to where the werewolf could be. However as he turned to the last entry his eyes grew wide as he read.

I found the most extraordinary news today. You wont believe it. Im pregnant! I couldn't be more shocked, of course I understand now why iv been sick some mornings. I am growing worried about Siri and Lils and James they are acting strange around me it feels as though they expect me to attack them or something.

_**Sirius is also spending more time away than usual, it worries me. How will he react when I tell him about our baby? Eurgh im going now the baby's made me tired. **_

Sirius stared in shock at the journal. Remus was pregnant with his child! All sorts of things went through Sirius's mind right then. What if Remus had aborted the child? Sirius couldn't be sure how Remus would feel carrying his child; Remus would definitely hate them all.

If Remus had kept the baby it would most certainly have been born by now, Sirius wondered if it were a boy or girl. Somewhere out there he had a son or daughter and a betrayed man who he still loved.

And so Deep in the countryside of France Remus Lupin read the newspaper choking on his coffee as he saw the headline.

**POTTERS PLEAD FOR OLD FRIEND TO GET IN TOUCH!**

James and Lily Potter yesterday pleaded with best friend Sirius Black for the return of the once thought traitor Remus Lupin. Lupin a known werewolf was first thought the potters traitor and under capture miraculously escaped. Lupin had then fled to an unknown location, where it is believed he is either currently hiding or had at one point.

**Sirius Black was racked with emotion as he pleaded for the werewolf to return or at least send word that he was ok. In an emotional statement Lily and James battled to keep their emotions in check. **

**"We made a mistake thinking that someone as kind and gentle as Remus could be a traitor, were sorry what little good it will do. We just want him back. None of our letters have been answered or even opened, some didn't even return! If anyone knows where Remus is or if Remus is reading this we're so sorry, we just want to know that your ok," Mr Black choked on a sob finding himself unable to continue. **

**Lily Potter then commented " If anyone knows where Remi is please contact us or please tell him we miss him and.. Just tell him to come home."**

Remus snorted in disgust, his eyes tearing up slightly at the picture on the front page. Both Potters and Black stood expressions sad and miserable. So upset did they seem that Remus was almost tempted to write a letter telling them that he was fine. His son's cry woke him from his reverie and he stood angrily chucking the paper into the fire.

His angry expression disappeared as soon as he saw his crying son, sensing his dad the baby stopped crying now reduced to sniffling, his large eyes looking adoringly at his papa. A soft smile reserved only for his son was present on Remus's face every time he held his precious cub, cradling him against his chest Remus sat by the fire humming softly.

CHAPTER TWO

It had been fourteen years since Remus had read the newspaper article pleading for his return. He had not contacted them and their search continued on, Remus was still shocked to know that they were still searching for him.

Although they wouldn't find him here, in the home he had created for him and his fifteen-year-old son. Kiyan was extremely mature for his age, although he gained his dads (Remus's) playful side. The only hint that Kiyan was even related to Black was his black tinted hair that was still beautiful amber.

His son had his amber eyes that sparkled warmly, his face a structure that not even the best artist could sculpt. In Short he was gorgeous. His body was incredibly close to feminine, but not so far as to call him female. In fact it only improved his gracefulness, another thing he had inherited from his dad.

Remus although feminine and graceful was incredibly powerful and it showed, particularly when his son was involved.

It was safe to say that Remus and Kiyan had a close relationship so close in fact that when Kiyan was twelve he had become distressed when he couldn't find his dad during a full moon. Staying at a trusted friends didn't help his distress and he unknowingly transported himself to the room his papa was in, upon seeing the werewolf he had somehow transformed into a small black wolf cub, which Moony immediately recognised as his cub.

Ever since then Kiyan could transform at will and despite Remus's many protests refused to leave during a full moon, they stayed together curled protectively enjoying each others company on a night that had signified pain for Remus for far too long.

Back in England Sirius Black sat at his best friends house, looking at a framed picture of four people. Sirius held a laughing Remus in a tight embrace beside them Lily and James also in an embrace grinned at them. The picture was in the middle of the mantelpiece, beside it were pictures of the Potter family and several with just Harry and Sirius in.

Although at Hogwarts Sirius and Harry corresponded by letter frequently and the distance didn't break the godfather and godson bond in the least. It was at times like theses looking at Pictures of Harry growing up that Sirius wondered about Remus and the child he may have.

Lily and James had been shocked when Sirius had shown them the journal, guilt had eaten at all three of them their last meeting with the werewolf had been rough. They had forced him into a chair and tied his arms together; the distress of that act alone could have harmed the unborn baby.

Their search hadn't come off and they still looked. Many callers had fire called or written stating they'd seen a man exactly like Remus but every time they checked it out their hope had been squashed. Wherever Remus was he didn't want to be found, they were fairly certain that Remus had seen their newspaper pleas for there had been several, it was foolish considering but they were hurt that he hadn't written to at least say he was ok.

So Sirius sat waiting for Lily, James and Harry to return from King's cross-station, he couldn't wait to see his godson again. Hearing the excited banter of said people walking up the driveway Sirius stood a genuine smile on his face.

After Harry had hugged Sirius to death a sudden fire call had all four scrambling for an unexpected trip.

"Lily, James im so sorry to interrupt your welcome home gathering but call just came through. There's been a possible sighting of Remus in France a place called Rouen," Albus Dumbledore said his eyes twinkling.

Harry was used to this a fire call from Dumbledore or their friends and he and his family were off, looking for a man he had been told about since childhood.

He knew the whole tale, and he knew of his Parents and godfathers need to find their missing friend and in Sirius's case lover.

Within two hours of the message the four stood in their joint rooms in the hotel Des Carmes. The message had not stated where exactly the person had spotted Remus or the person they believed to be Remus, just that it was in Rouen.

To satisfy Harry the Potters and Sirius agreed to make their trip a holiday whether they found Remus or not. So Hiring a car they took a tour of the town. Driving up a deserted road all four were shocked when they saw two figures laughing, the younger an amber haired with black tints playfully shoved the elder who ruffled the others hair.

It was only as the elder turned to watch amusedly as the younger male dropped the one bag he was carrying, did the four in the car realise who it was.

Remus and Kiyan had walked into town that day, they preferred walking, and they went food shopping once a week and on their regular walk back, a car of no particular interest to either or them pulled up a little ahead of them.

As a werewolf Remus had a perfect sense of smell and as soon as the car doors opened he recognised the long ago scents of Sirius, Lily, James and Harry. Stopping dead in his tracks Remus halted his son's movements.

"Papa?" Kiyan questioned, he noticed Remus's attention was on the four people climbing out of the car. He knew who these people were instantly although he had never seen pictures of them.

The Potters, and of course the man he was biologically related to. The man he hated.

"Qu'allons-nous faire le papa? Kiyan spoke rapidly in French hoping that the four wouldn't be able to understand.

Remus didn't reply just grabbed his sons arm; before he could apparate Sirius's voice halted him.

"Remus wait! Please." Sirius shouted desperately.

Remus didn't think just apparated away. When they got to their home Remus cursed whoever had told his old friends where they were. They would have to leave, they didn't need them. "Kiyan, Pack some of your things quickly!" Remus said hurriedly. A witch or Wizard nowadays could easily read a person apparation magic. They would find the house hopefully the time it takes for them to get past the wards would be enough for Remus and his son to get away via Portkey.

Feeling a strain on the wards Remus admitted defeat, they wouldn't make it in time. Calling Kiyan to him he hugged his son knowing their lives would not be the same. "Speak only French son, they won't understand there isn't a spell for them to understand thank the gods!" Remus whispered his arm around Kiyan's shoulders. The fifteen year old nodded showing his understanding.

Minutes later Sirius, Lily, James and Harry stood before them in the spacious kitchen.

"Remus . . ." Sirius began. "I don't want to hear it," Remus said his voice sparked with anger. "We need to talk," Lily said her voice desperate they had spent so long looking for Remus, they had long ago forgotten that he would still be angry with them. A werewolf doesn't take betrayal lightly in fact the wolf would never trust them again. Remus gestured reluctantly for them to sit at the kitchen table. Kiyan glaring at the four sat by his dad's side his face unreadable. He would be able to fake not being able to understand English easily enough; it was going to be harder understanding them and not shouting angrily at them. He wasn't sure if his act included not understanding English.

Sirius dragged his eyes of his ex lover to look at the boy beside the werewolf. Could this be his son? Turning once again to Remus he tried to keep his voice from desperation. "Is he . . . Is he our son?" Sirius asked he failed at keeping his voice calm. Hell the man he loved sat opposite him his face angry and the boy that was most likely his child was glaring at him. "No," Remus said shortly his anger fuelled. "He is _my _son." Sirius understood that. That meant the boy before him was his and Remus's, looking at his son he saw hardly any of himself their. The boy had Remus's eyes a strange feat since Remus had wolf amber. In fact the only comparison to himself on the boy was the black tints in his mostly amber hair.

Looking at the three that accompanied him Sirius saw them also looking at the boy. Sirius realised he didn't know anything about him except that he was his son. "What's your name?" He asked the boy who still glared at him, his voice was struggling the emotions he was feeling. "Rien vos affaires" (None_ of your business)_ Kiyan retorted he didn't like how these strangers were looking at him. " What?" Sirius as Remus knew didn't speak nor understand French neither did the others from what their confused faces showed. "He doesn't speak English," Remus said his voice void of any other emotion except anger. Inside he felt a small sense of smugness, his old friends would not get to his son. "But he understands English?" Sirius said in disbelief. He had found his son but he couldn't understand him. "What do you want Black their must be a reason for your sudden visit," Remus said sharply. Sirius winced at his last name said in such an angry tone. "We've been looking for you for fourteen years! We want to apologise we should never have thought you to be the traitor, please Rem come back home with us," Lily said she was close to crying; her old friend wasn't how she remembered. Kind Remus wasn't what she saw at least to them, this Remus was cold and unforgiving the change was heartbreaking. "I am home. You think you can come here after fourteen years, say you're sorry and I'll what? Smile and say sure lets go back to how we were. It's never going to happen you may as well just leave now," Remus said his anger and pain over the years pouring into his words. "I'm not leaving you after finding you again. We have a son Remi and im not going to abandon either of you," Sirius said passionately. "Why not you did before. Of course that was after you tied me down and almost forced me to drink a potion that would have killed my son," Remus was bitter. He had come so close to losing the precious boy sat beside him, even if he forgave them for believing him of being the traitor he could never ever forgive them for the near loss of his baby. The flinch his words caused almost made him feel better. "If we leave, be quiet Sirius. If we leave will you allow us to write? And if we write will you reply?" James suggested knowing the werewolf wouldn't back down face to face. "It's Agreeable," Remus said thinking it over. " If of course you promise not to tell anyone else where we are, and you do not visit without my permission first." Remus added. "What about our son? You haven't even told me his name!!" Sirius was desperate whether or not Remus liked it or whether his son could speak or write English he wanted to know his son. "Vous devrez lui écrire" (_you will have to write to him) _Remus spoke rapidly to his son who looked angry for a few seconds. "Pourquoi? Je ne veux rien à faire avec lui!" (_Why? I want nothing to do with him!) _Kiyan spat angrily. "Puisqu'il ne partira pas autrement" _(Because he will not leave otherwise) _Remus replied calmly. Kiyan didn't reply just gave a sharp nod. The others watched this interaction trying to understand what was being said. Turning back to Sirius, Remus reluctantly nodded. " Fine. I want you to leave now." Remus glared coldly at them. Before they reached the door Remus hesitated. " Harry? Im glad we could meet." Remus gave a small smile. He had after all adored the boy as a baby; he had no grudge with the teenager. Harry smiled a long ago memory of a younger version of this man playing before his eyes. The younger Remus was holding baby Harry, singing him softly to sleep.

On the trip back Sirius was silent. He wanted nothing more to turn back and demand Remus to let him speak to his son, to explain something's. But he knew it wouldn't do him any good. To Harry's anger as soon as they got back to their hotel room they packed, and returned to Hogwarts. After explaining what happened to a grave Dumbledore, the Potters and Sirius headed to their suite of rooms. Harry angry that his parents had once again broken a promise slammed his room door in their faces.

IN FRANCE 

"Why did they have to find us?" Kiyan shouted angrily. Remus watched his son worriedly, his own anger simmering now that Black wasn't near. "I don't know. But they will come back if we do not write. So we must, to keep our peace we will write." Remus said tiredly. Kiyan was by his side in an instant hugging him. "Im sorry. Anyway you never said I could write English. It'll really piss him off if you allow me to write in French," Kiyan said a glint in his eyes. Remus laughed at his statement it was true he hadn't said Kiyan could write English. In fact he hadn't told Sirius, Kiyan's name. They retired to bed both exhausted after the days events. A week passed and two letters arrived, one for Remus and the other simply addressed to son. Was for Kiyan. Remus calmly handed the letter to Kiyan who scowled but nevertheless opened the letter.

_**Son, **_

**_I don't even know your name or if you can even understand what im writing. My names Sirius Orion Black I do not know how much Remus told you about me. Whatever he did I don't know if its even good or bad. We made a mistake when we accused him of betrayal. Im unimaginably sorry and regretful about how things turned out. I didn't even know about you until I found your dad's old journal by then it was too late and all our searches unsuccessful. I wish I had played a part in raising you. I have a son and I know nothing about you that in itself hurts. I hope that in time we will get to know each other. With love Sirius._**Kiyan snorted in disgust. But his dad had requested he write back that was the only reason he did. So Pulling out a piece of parchment Kiyan started on his reply.**Sirius, Mon papa m'a dit que les bonnes et mauvaises choses au sujet de toi, celui ne change pas le fait que je vous déteste. Vous avez blessé Mon papa, abandonné lui quand il n'a fait rien faux et nécessaire vous plus. Ne pas penser que vous pouvez marcher dans nos vies et nous vous pardonnerons. Ou cela que vous pouvez finir par savoir que je franchement je ne veux pas finir par vous connaître. Im sûr vous regrettez ce que vous avez fait mais vos excuses ne signifient rien à moi. Avec haine Kiyan**

English of Above)

Sirius, My dad has told me both good and bad things about you that does not change the fact that I hate you. You hurt my dad, abandoned him when he did nothing wrong and needed you most. Do not think you can walk into our lives and we will forgive you. or that you can get to know me frankly i don't want to get to know you. Im sure you regret what you did but your apologies mean nothing to me. With Hate Kiyan

Happy with his reply Kiyan sent it off with the owl a smirk present on his face. He wasn't going to make it happy for Sirius Black, his dad had been deeply hurt by him and Kiyan would never forgive that. You know the saying **Payback's a bitch.**


	2. Chapter 2

"Dad?" Kiyan asked hesitantly. Remus looked up at his son the soft smile spreading across his handsome face.

"Come sit with me," Remus said softly. Since Kiyan was a baby Remus and he would sit by the fire, as Kiyan got older they would talk.

Kiyan happily sat beside his dad resting his head on Remus's shoulder. He suddenly felt exhausted. In no time at all he fell asleep and Remus with a content sigh fell into sleep a protective arm around his son.

ENGLAND

Sirius Black sat restlessly it had been two days since receiving a reply from Remus and Kiyan. He was restless because he was waiting for Tonks to translate the letter.

Although not the brightest witch ever Tonks had grown up learning French and had happily agreed to translate for him.

After pacing the floor of his kitchen yet again an owl arrived carrying the letter from Tonks and the translated letter. Excitement burst within him but as he read the accurate translation his heart panged painfully. How could he win his son over? The letter from Remus was filled with tight tense writing, and the feeling that came off the letter was of someone who really didn't want to be writing.

Sighing Sirius buried his head in his arms. The only good thing that came from Kiyan's letter was that he now knew his son's name.

FRANCE

Kiyan was shocked when a snowy white own flew through his large bedroom window. Hesitantly pulling it from the owl's leg he cautiously opened it, surprised when he read whom it was from. Harry. J.Potter.

Curious, Kiyan threw himself onto his back on his bed and getting comfy read the letter.

_**Kiyan,**_

_**Hey, Siri told me your name, its cool better than Harry anyway. Oh and in case your wondering why im writing its not because my parents or Siri asked me. I gotta admit im curious bout you and m… Remus. **_

_**I know quite a bit about your dad, he sounds way cool. Im not sure if you can understand written English, if not I hope you can get a translator!**_

_**Suppose I should tell you a little about myself. Ok well im sixteen and go to Hogwarts, do you got to a magical school I don't know if there is one in Rouen. Hogwarts is alright, iv got two best friends Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley there the only ones who don't care about the whole Boy Who Lived thing. **_

_**But any school I'd go to would still be the same. Everyone wanting to know the boy who lived, it's really annoying. Besides its bad enough my mum and dad been all-proud and stuff. **_

_**Anyway just wanted to write you know? Maybe we could write to each other? Damn I gotta go Hedwig's not all that patient.**_

_**Harry.J.Potter **_

To say Kiyan was surprised was putting it lightly although surprisingly he liked the sound of Harry Potter. Not because of his name, in fact being a Potter was something Kiyan would have held against him. No, Harry seemed cool someone you could write to and be totally honest with. Of course Kiyan would have to judge that himself.

With a strange excitement Kiyan began constructing his reply.

**Harry, Je dois admettre que je suis choqué par votre lettre, mais pas d'un mauvais état. je devrais d'abord faire des excuses pour devoir écrire le français, je comprends et peux lire l'anglais mais je ne le parle pas ni n'écris pas. je devrais également vous avertir que si nous allons écrire entre eux je placerai un charme fort de secrets sur le parchemin, il me permettrai de garder mes secrets. fondamentalement il signifie que vous ne pourrez pas dire vos parents ou lui ce que je dis dans mes lettres. Mon papa m'a dit l'alot au sujet de toi comme un bébé i maintenant il vous a adoré. peut-être qui est pourquoi toutes les fois qu'il parle de toi il sourit. Êtes-vous revenus à Hogwarts ? j'écrirai si vous aimez, vous ne semble pas si mauvais. Vos amis retentissent très l'arrangement, im heureux pour toi. Quoi qu'il en soit je dois aller maintenant votre hibou brille à moi. Kiyan.**

(English)

Harry,

I must admit i am shocked by your letter, but not in a bad way. i should first apologise for having to write French, i understand and can read English but i do not speak nor write it.

i should also warn you that if we are going to write to each other i will place a strong secrets charm onto the parchment, it will enable me to keep my secrets. Basically it means you won't be able to tell your parents or him what i say in my letters.

My dad has told me alot about you as a baby i now he adored you. Perhaps that's why whenever he talks about you he smiles.

Have you returned to Hogwarts? i will write if you like, you don't seem so bad. Your friend's sound very understanding, im glad for you.

Anyway i have to go now your owl is glaring at me.

Kiyan.

Happy with the reply Kiyan sent it off after saying the secrets spell. With a sigh Kiyan met his dad in the living room and began his classes.

England.

Harry received the letter two days later Kiyan replied, he was happy that they could perhaps become friends. The translation was going to be hard but since his best friend Hermione had gone to France she had bought him a talking type in translator. All Harry had to do was copy the letter's writing and type it into the translator then hopefully it would translate it ok.

So after doing that Harry was very pleased when the letter's writing was revealed. Harry felt slightly guilty though because he hadn't told his parents he had gotten the translator, but really its not like they bothered with spending time with him much anymore.

It was true he was returning to Hogwarts very soon, honestly Harry was glad. Since returning from Rouen his parents and Sirius have concentrated on winning Remus and Kiyan back. Personally Harry would have respected their privacy but he didn't know what it was like having two people you loved out in the world knowing they hate your guts.

Settling into sleep Harry smiled thinking of the possible new friend he had just made.


	3. Chapter 3

Harry had returned to Hogwarts a week ago and he was happy that the correspondence with Kiyan was as strong as ever; whenever the other got a letter they would excitedly reply and send their reply off almost immediately. They had slowly opened up to each other with a few conditions from Kiyan. Harry interested to know about Remus would ask something about the werewolf in every letter and Kiyan careful with his reply would answer as best as he could, the condition being that Harry didn't let on to his family that he knew more than he should about Remus.

Remus although still angry at being found was pleased that Harry and his son were writing and taking the time to get to know each other. When he had first learnt that he was pregnant he had imagined many times Harry and Kiyan playing together, amongst missing Harry he had sorely missed the chance of his two cubs growing up together.

He had received many letters from Lily and James most pleading for forgiveness and protesting how sorry and what a mistake on their part. He was tired of reading the many apologies; the hardest was the letters from Sirius. He had learnt in Hogwarts that Sirius was his mate, it had scared him fearing that he would have to be bound to anyone for life even if it was the man he loved. How wrong he was.

Not commonly known a werewolf does mate for life but the werewolf is perfectly capable of living with their mate if they must. It hurt the wolf inside him very day to be away from his mate but his cub settled his distress. Betrayal for the wolf by his mate had harmed Remus the most, he had to deal with two different views of betrayal, his own and the very dominant wolf lurking inside.

Since the first meeting of his old friends Remus hadn't seen them in person although they had asked a few times to meet again, Remus avoided it not wanting to see them so soon. If he never had to see them again it would be a blessing, but he knew deep down that through the fourteen years apart he had missed them, had craved the feeling of love and freedom from the beast they had given him. He had many friends in Rouen all knew that he was a wizard many were themselves they also for Kiyan's sake knew about his condition. They had been happy to care for Kiyan when he was younger when Remus had full moon to contend with.

So lost in his thoughts he never heard the ward for the floo network go off. Turning his head to the fire he was shocked so see Albus Dumbledore's calm face looking back at him.

"Remus it's been too long my friend." Albus said genuinely happy to see him after so many years, judging from Remus's facial expression the same couldn't be said for him.

"Not for me." Remus retorted seeing the flash of pain on the old headmaster's face before he smiled slightly.

"Perhaps." He replied a note of sadness in his usually cheery voice.

"What do you want." Remus sat back his face thunderous.

"Im here for two reasons my boy. Like I said it's been too long I was happy to note when Lily and James told me they found you that you have a comfortable life here. I confess to wanting to see you since they told me of your whereabouts. However for the second reason why im here, I want to offer your son a placement at Hogwarts." Dumbledore finished calmly waiting for Remus response.

Remus's head was in a spin, during Dumbledore's speech he had felt so much anger at Lily, James and Sirius for breaking their promise about not disclosing his location but really what did he expect? Snapping back to attention he just caught the part about Kiyan being offered a place at Hogwarts.

"I cant answer for my son. But it's not practical, he speaks no English he cant write English. I have to decline." Remus finished with finality not giving the headmaster chance to protest Remus carried on.

"I wish for you to leave now. Good day." Remus muttered the wards defence spell and Dumbledore was forcefully removed form his fireplace landing back in his office.

Waving his hand angrily a small writing table wheeled itself in front of him, parchment, ink and quill ready.

**Potter, Black,**

**When we agreed to writing I set certain conditions I found today that yet again you have been unable to stick by your promises. I had a visit from Dumbledore today, are you seeing what's wrong with that sentence? **

**I told you that I didn't want anyone knowing where Kiyan and me are, Dumbledore was not an exception to that condition. Hell I didn't want you knowing where we were what gave you the idea I wanted him to know as well?**

**I guess I should have seen this coming after all if you're able to betray me once you can do it again right?**

**Black I'm guessing that it was your idea to have Kiyan schooled at Hogwarts, despite the fact that he speaks no English nor writes it? Even you have to realise what an impossible situation that would be. I declined his offer; despite your hopes my son will not be going to Hogwarts. **

**R.Lupin **

With that Remus called to his owl Art (short for Artemis, his son's idea) tying the letter to his leg he watched as Art flew away with a soft flap of his golden wings. He needed to talk to Kiyan.

"Kiyan, come here please." Remus shouted up at his son, hearing the immediate foot falls on the stairs."What is it? Papa?" Kiyan asked worriedly at Remus's angry expression."We have to move. They told Dumbledore our location, he wont leave us alone now that he knows where we are." Remus said sadly he really didn't want to move from the home he had built with his son but he also knew that Dumbledore would hound them."Yes papa." Kiyan said sadly. "Where will we go?" "To our other home. We can keep this house what with my teaching wages. I can apparate to work so I can keep that job. We can carry on with our lives we just have to move for a while." Remus hugged his son tightly. "Go pack we leave as soon as we can." Remus said sadly, he watched dejectedly as Kiyan nodded in acceptance the sadness in his eyes haunting enough.

Ok a short update, poor Remus he's been through so much. I feel so mean hangs head sadly Please review hopeful look


	4. Chapter 4

Remus and Kiyan magically packed their belongings storing them away or shrinking them for easier transportation, they worked all night Remus knowing the seriousness of the situation. Dumbledore was a manipulator and know that he knew where they were . . well it didn't bode well for him or his son.

With their belongings in their pockets and the letters to their friends in Rouen sent Kiyan held onto his Papa's hand and they with a last look at their home apparated away.

Their other slightly smaller home was located in Amiens it was far enough from Rouen but still his papa had done a good job of renovating the place. It was a smooth stone structure with a decent sized living room with his papa's comfortable furniture and a wood burning fire. Their was three bedrooms, his papa would have the grand room and Kiyan would have the second largest the smallest was predictably the spare room.

Tiredly Kiyan trudged to his room pulling his luggage from his pockets he resized them before collapsing on his bed falling into a restless sleep.

Remus had watched his son's slumped shoulders and sad expression as he disappeared upstairs, he hated that they had to move because yet again his old friends couldn't keep their mouths shut. He also wondered when he should tell Kiyan about being offered a placement at Hogwarts, he didn't believe his son would want to go but he still deserved to know that he had been offered.

With too much on his mind but too tired to take notice Remus stumbled upstairs to his room falling like his son into a restless sleep.

Two days since they moved Kiyan and Remus were sat curled together on their couch when an owl soared through the open window. Glancing at each other Remus sighed leant forwards and untied the letter pulling back he glanced at the writing.

"Papa?" Kiyan asked curiously, now that he'd been their a few days he was more comfortable living in Amiens but still he missed Rouen.

"It's from them." Remus said a hint of anger under his usually controlled voice. Inside Remus was cursing the day they found him and his son, everything was so messed up because of them.

Ripping open the letter Remus reluctantly read it a spark of anger flashing in his eyes before he finished, handing the letter to his curious son he stood disappearing into the kitchen.

**Remus,**

**We're sorry you see telling Dumbledore that we found you as a betrayal, it really isn't. We haven't been the only ones worried about you all those years. We believe he had a right to know. We know you said you didn't want anyone to know but we honestly didn't think you'd mind us telling Dumbledore you never would have minded before.**

(here the writing changed to a slightly elegant handwriting.)

Remy I cant say im not disappointed that you refused to allow Kiyan the chance to go to Hogwarts, I had hoped that if he agreed I could help teach him to speak and write English. I have a right to know my son Remus whether you like it or not, whatever's happened between us don't begrudge me the chance to know him, I beg you. Rethink about Hogwarts we can work something out please? 

**All our love James, Lily and Sirius. **

Kiyan snorted go to Hogwarts? As if he'd want to!

"Papa?" Kiyan called realising Remus still hadn't returned from the kitchen. A few minutes later Remus returned carrying a tray two cups of what Kiyan guessed was tea and several bars of chocolate. With a devilish grin Remus sat down and they devoured the chocolate greedily.

Harry sat in Dumbledores office listening uninterested tot eh conversation around him. He had been called to the headmaster's office saying his parents were here and would like a word with him. Only when he'd arrived it wasn't him they wanted to talk to or they forget which has happened a few too many times.

According to the snippets of conversation he actually took interest in, Remus and Kiyan were missing again. Sirius sat beside Harry his head in his hands as Dumbledore apologised to him over and over.

"How could he just go? I don't understand why." Sirius lifted his head at James's confused exclamation.

"Because Albus had to go visit didn't he, knowing that Remus didn't want anyone to know! How stupid were you to go haring over their scaring my family off, you'd better find where they are Dumbledore!" Sirius yelled letting loose the anger at once again not knowing where Remus or his son were.

"I cant apologise enough Sirius." Dumbledore said sadly.

/_Oh Kiyan better have answers for this/ _Harry thought as he resigned himself to listening to yelling for the rest of the afternoon.

How right he'd been. A dejected and angry Harry Potter thought as he stalked back to Gryffindor tower, slamming the portrait behind him he ignored the shocked looks and hurried to his dorm. Hurriedly finding his writing supplies he sat and wrote a letter to Kiyan hoping for some answers.

**Kiyan,**

**So I heard you've done another disappearing act, I don't know whether to be pissed off about that or the fact that I had to deal with that lot yelling in Dumbledore's office for over three hours! **

**It doesn't take a genius to figure out why you left so I'll stick with asking if you're ok? **

**I bet you wont tell me where you are but can you tell me what its like? Probably somewhere sunny unlike here it's been raining none stop, every time you go out you get soaked. **

**Anyway I need answers as to why you didn't warn me about the whole yelling for three hours bore got it?**

**Write back soon**

**Harry.**

Happy with his letter he sent it off with Hedwig who gave him a glare for sending her out in the rain. With a grateful sigh Harry fell back onto his bed falling into an exhausted sleep.

When Kiyan received Harry's letter he grinned at his friends obvious annoyed tone. Even in the letter he could tell Harry was torn between worry and anger. Sighing he got his parchment and began his reply.

Harry, Im désolé vous avez dû entendre cela par eux hurlant. Ont-ils vraiment hurlé pendant trois heures ? Le shouldnt I soit ainsi choqué je suppose. vous avez raison que je biseaute te dis où nous sommes, bien que le papa envoie ses excuses, il veut que je dise qu'elle est belle et ensoleillée merci. Les mêmes règles s'appliquent avec cette lettre pendant que les autres ainsi vous biseauté indiquent n'importe qui que ceci l'a obtenu ? J'avais repensé aller à Hogwarts, je ne veux pas être autour de elles et je ne veux pas être seperated de mon papa mais je ne sais pas je pense que l'it'd soit bon ne fût-ce que pendant une année pour connaître comme quel it'd être. que pensez-vous ? Du papa l'arrangement suprisingly mais im m'inquiétait toujours a besoin de l'aide ici Harry. Moi et le papa sont très bien des mercis du souci mais vraiment nous allons être bien. Comment allez vous il doit être écouter assez dur eux et sachant que vous savez plus qu'elles. j'apprécie toujours le fait que nous sommes des amis. Quoi qu'il en soit im allant aller. de ristourne ok bientôt ? Kiyan

(English of above)

Harry,

Im sorry you had to hear that through them yelling. Did they really yell for three hours? I shouldn't be so shocked i suppose. you're right i cant tell you where we are, although Dad sends his apologies, he does want me to say that it is lovely and sunny thankyou.

The same rules apply with this letter as the others so you cant tell anyone this got it?

I've been rethinking going to Hogwarts, i don't want to be around them and i don't want to be separated from my dad but i don't know i think it'd be good if only for a year to know what it'd be like. What do you think?

Dad's surprisingly understanding but still im worried i need some help here Harry.

Me and dad are fine thanks for the concern but really we're gonna be ok. How are you it must be pretty tough listening to them and knowing that you know more than they do. Still i appreciate the fact that we're friends.

Anyway im gonna go. Write back soon ok?

Kiyan

Happy with that he sent the reply deciding that he would wait until he heard again from Harry before making his decision about Hogwarts. His Papa wasn't exactly pleased about his decision but he said he understood wanting to go their. How had their life got so complicated?

Remus sat silently drinking his fourth cup of tea that morning processing the possibility that Kiyan would go to Hogwarts. At first his son was dead against it but something seemed to awaken a sudden urge to go to a proper school. It wasn't that he had no friends but they were all in Rouen.

With a sigh Remus began preparing himself for the time when Kiyan would say he wanted to go to Hogwarts. It was inevitable now, it made sense in a way that he would want to go where he himself had been educated, he would see Harry and meet some new friends. He would get a good education, but still Remus was worried they could easily pull off Kiyan's no English problem by pretending that Remus began teaching him, but that wouldn't stop Sirius and the Potters trying to get to know his son.

Feeling a headache forming Remus groaned deciding that for now he'd just wait and see how things turned out. But no matter what his son's decision he was determined to protect his son from his old friends manipulations.

Two updates in one day! Phew that's unusual for me. I apologise for the French version of Kiyan's letter. My computer just wouldn't let me paragraph it! Thank you for all the lovely reviews and suggestions I took the suggestion of having Kiyan sent to Hogwarts to mind and am seriously re considering.


	5. Chapter 5

Remus looked at the letter he had constructed. It was the acceptance letter for Kiyan to attend Hogwarts. His son wanted to at least attend for a year if he didn't like it he would return to France. He was happy for his son, but he knew that now he himself would have to leave to be close by for Kiyan. He would be damned if he let Kiyan go to Hogwarts by himself, Dumbledore would manipulate as much as possible and the Potters would no doubt try to wriggle into Kiyan's life one way or another. But at least Sirius would get the opportunity he wanted to see Kiyan whether Kiyan wanted to know Sirius was another matter entirely.

Sending the letter off Remus went in search of his son, he found him lying beside an old stone wall looking deep in thought.

"Papa? Are you mad? That I want to go to Hogwarts I mean." Kiyan asked softly. Remus took a moment to think, could he really hate his son for wanting something he had had himself? The answer was so simple and strong, _no._

"No, if it makes you happy to try attending Hogwarts then you will go, and so will i." Remus watched amused as his sons head snapped up to look at him.

"What do you mean?" Kiyan couldn't help the hopefulness that filled his eyes.

"Did you really think I'd leave you alone at Hogwarts just because you wanted to go? I have sent off your acceptance letter I have also applied for teaching Defence. If im correct they will allow us both the positions probably in the hopes that I will forgive them and that you will allow them into your lives." Remus said trying to keep his voice light and even but only partially succeeded he sounded angry and bitter certain things change people he reflected.

Remus had been right, they were both accepted to Hogwarts and they spent the rest of their time organising themselves for the trip to Hogwarts. Kiyan was luckily quiet a good actor and was able to fake learning English, to prove this he reluctantly replied to Sirius's many letters. he would use English with the occasional French word added. It seemed to work as Sirius constantly commented that Kiyan's English was improving.

The letters he received from Sirius were written with hope from his 'biological' father and Kiyan almost felt sorry for him. Almost.

He would admit to his papa that sometimes he would think what it would have been like all of them living as a family, or if he had accepted Sirius's many apologies. He found himself longing for the happy family him and Remus deserved, he always hated those moments. It was true he was angry and extremely bitter about the whole affair between the Potter's and Remus. He couldn't understand why they of all people would turn on Remus as badly as they had.

Shaking his head at his thoughts Kiyan turned on his music hoping to drown away his fears and worries.

The day arrived when Remus and Kiyan would leave for Hogwarts. Saying their goodbyes to their friends was hard and they both promised to return for the holidays. They would not arrive normally, Kiyan definitely wouldn't be taking the train and Remus was staying by his sons side insistently.

The would have to floo, using a public Floo portal they landed in Dumbledores office. Remus looked slightly sickly at the sight of the office. He flashed back to this very office where the problems began. He could feel the bindings cutting into his wrists the fear gripped at his heart as he wondered what was happening. The anger and desperation to stop his supposed friends from forcing the potion that would kill his child, . . .

"Papa?" Kiyan said worriedly, Black and the Potters stood anxiously looking like they wanted to approach but Kiyan's glare warned them off.

"Im fine" Remus straightened and forced himself to calm down, he sat mostly ignoring the rooms occupants.

Remus was briefed once about his teaching position, he would be working jointly with Severus this year, the defence class and Potions would be taken in the same space. This would be to increase awareness of the defence needed and Severus would show them how to brew stronger healing salves and Potions that would harm or repel a dark creature.

"Now Kiyan I believe you have to be sorted." Dumbledore looked at Kiyan his eyes dimming when the boy refused to meet his gaze.

Kiyan refrained from saying something along the lines of 'state the flipping obvious' already he found the headmaster infuriating.

He opted for saying nothing and after a deafening silence Dumbledore stood swooping the aged old hat onto Kiyan's head.

"_Ahh the son of two Gryffindors. Mm you have many house qualities. You are sly and sneaky like a slytherin, Brave to an extent like a Gryffindor, full of knowledge and eager to learn like Ravenclaw and loyal like Hufflepuff. Perhaps Gryffindor?"_

_"Perhaps I'll burn you after all." Kiyan replied in his head._

_"Hmm definitely got Slytherin qualities. But no your right I don't think you are particularly inclined to Gryffindor. Very well, better be RAVENCLAW!_

Kiyan ripped the hat off his head to see the slight disappointment in Sirius's eyes only to look at his Papa and see pride. He was pulled into a gentle hug.

"bon cuit, mon fils." /_well done my son_/ Remus whispered before pulling back.

The meeting after was of little importance to Kiyan, he was shown to Ravenclaw's common room and he said goodnight to his papa. He wondered that night if perhaps he had done the wrong thing in coming here.

The next morning didn't improve Kiyan's doubts, first he had to introduce himself to his room mates and then to his whole house, it was highly embarrassing. What was worse was the fact that everyone knew of his papa's 'condition', the Ravenclaws were all for dissecting him to see if he carried anything to do with a werewolf trait.

By the time he got to breakfast he was grumpy and starving. He sat at the bottom of the table hoping to avoid as many as his housemates as possible, how could he have thought that attending Hogwarts was a good idea?Whilst berating himself he didn't notice when Harry and his friends arrived in the Hall he looked up feeling a pair of eyes burning into him.

Harry looked at him curiously but Kiyan gave a discrete barely their shake of his head and the raven-haired boy returned to his conversation. After being given his timetable he groaned, his day was getting worse and worse already.


	6. Chapter 6

Lost Lupin's chapter 6

Remus watched his son interact with his classmates a feeling of pride swelling in his chest. So far his classes were going smoothly even the Slytherins were somewhat interested in the subjects set. So far he had been so busy the Potters and Sirius hadn't been able to speak with him, Remus wasn't sure whether or not that was a good thing. Since returning to Hogwarts his emotions have been all over the place. Although being in his childhood school caused some painful memories to resurface he was also surprisingly to him very happy to be back.

That's how Lily, James and Sirius found him later that evening in a fairly cheerful mood and sitting in the staff room drinking a cup of tea. He barely looked up when they entered just sat drinking his tea his eyes downcast. Nervously making themselves drinks the three sat opposite Remus watching him somewhat anxiously.

"I assume you want to talk?" Remus said softly still not looking at them.

"Yes." James said eyeing his old friend he was slightly worried about him.

"Then go ahead, I have had a good day so far so I will listen." He replied calmly refilling his cup.

"Those years were trying times Remi, everyone was a suspect what with James, Lily and Harry going into hiding me you and that rat were all suspects." Sirius began his voice soft and pleading

"But it seemed at the time that you were cutting yourself off from us, you were distant when we spoke always staring into space, you were more nervous around us we thought it was because you had switched sides." Lily continued looking at Remus with wide eyes, Remus had his head bowed his amber hair covering most of his face.

"You stopped meeting up with us as much as you used to we didn't know what to think we jumped to the wrong conclusion and you don't know how sorry we are for that. We almost cost you your son when we found out you had been pregnant we were horrified, instead of just asking you what was going on we hurt you and we swore we'd never hurt you didn't we?" James carried on his voice turning into a whisper.

"First of all my name is Remus, im not Moony or Remi anymore. You shouldn't have jumped to conclusions if you had asked I would have told you I was pregnant. I stopped meeting up with you as often as I used to because it was unsafe for the baby. A male pregnancy has a thirty percent rising risk of miscarriage than in a woman rest was critical for the baby to survive. If you had asked what was wrong then again I would have told you.

You did almost cost me my son, all these years I held onto the hate I felt towards you for that instead of just letting it pass after a few years. The fact is that you didn't cost me Kiyan I cant forgive you for that for what almost happened that day but I don't think I can hold onto all the hate residing from it. At the time when you swore you'd never hurt me I didn't believe you. I was a werewolf who had been hurt too many times for what you said to be true, but you showed me differently for a while at least. I am grateful for that if wary of what happens now." Remus finished calmly despite the feelings tearing through him; he finally lifted his head up his eyes meeting that of three hopeful people.

"What do you want to happen now Remus?" Sirius asked his voice silky soft.

"As it is I can't forgive you completely I doubt I ever will but I wont hold onto so much of the past. I think at most we can be civil to each other and for Kiyan's sake I ask you not to hound him, he is in a new school a new country being hounded by you will only make him more stressed and angry." Remus replied and every word he said was true he wouldn't hold on so much to the past but he wasn't ready for anything more than civil.

"I have a right to know my son Remus. But your right adding stress to Kiyan isn't going to do any of us any good. But I do want to be able to spend time with him even if it's just an hour every week." Sirius said thinking it over.

"I'll speak with him. That's the best I can say." Remus stood draining his teacup and washing it magically Remus nodded sharply before leaving.

Feeling tired and drained emotionally Remus headed to his rooms, going straight to his bedroom he collapsed tiredly onto his bed hoping that he was doing the right thing and that he and his son wouldn't get hurt from this decision.

Things that day had not gotten any better for Kiyan since his arrival at Hogwarts a great speculation of whether he was a werewolf had spread around the school. It annoyed Kiyan greatly and because the full moon was fast approaching the whispers had gotten worse. He saw little of his papa due to his homework and his papa's classes but this did not stop them spending weekends together.

Harry had written to Kiyan asking they meet up, Kiyan glad that he would finally be able to talk to his friend had agreed only to arrive and find that another boy was with Harry. And not just any other boy but Draco Malfoy supposedly Harry's 'enemy'. After some hesitation on both his and Draco's part they became friends although it could not be publicly known. For Harry and Draco it was the rift between the two families and Kiyan guessed there was a little or a lot more than friendship between the two.

For him and both Harry and Draco it was if his friend's parents found out. The Potters would be delighted and bombard him with letters and such things and Kiyan certainly didn't want that. He rather suspected that Draco's parents would hate the fact that their son hung around with a werewolf's son.

Perhaps that was what shocked the three friends when they happened upon Remus, Severus and Lucius talking in the Potions room. They had been sneaking around with the map to ensure they weren't caught after hours. To hear his father laugh so happily and carefree made something ache within Kiyan he had not heard his father laugh like that since before they were found.

With a silent look between the three they agreed to see each other to there dorms. Kiyan rolled his eyes teasingly when Harry pecked Draco on the cheek before blushing madly as Draco smirked. Insisting that he was fine Kiyan watched as Harry reluctantly left before heading back to his common room.

As he neared the main hallway he literally bumped into someone his thoughts lost so far away that he hadn't been paying attention.

"Watch where your going boy!" a sharp voice hissed, Kiyan looked up and noticed the cold look of Lucius Malfoy. The icy glare that Lucius directed at him softened immediately upon noticing whose son had walked into him. Holding out a hand to help the boy up Lucius allowed a small smile at the confused look Remus's son was directing at him.

"My apologies I hadn't realised who you were." Lucius said softly.

"You know my father," Kiyan blurted out suddenly.

"Yes." Lucius raised an eyebrow in question.

"I saw you and Professor Snape talking to my father earlier." Kiyan admitted guiltily.

"Ahh and you were naturally wondering when we became friends?" Lucius walked slowly in the direction of Ravenclaw.

"Naturally." Kiyan smirked eerily like Draco causing Lucius to do a double take.

"Like father like son." He whispered softly. Much to the Ravenclaw's annoyance.

"I was a sixth year when me and Remus became friends. I was in Slytherin as no doubt Draco has told you and so was Professor Snape. We had as Slytherins slight disadvantages that the entire School hated us. On one evening we had been walking from the library when we were attacked by a group of Gryffindors. Remus happened upon us as we were knocked unconscious. He revived us and we thanked him. A gradual friendship grew between the three of us. I will confess I am glad he is back if only for the fact that we talk much more than when you were in hiding from those imbeciles." Lucius hissed the last and Kiyan found himself liking this man much more.

Arriving at the Ravenclaw doorway Lucius stopped and looked at Kiyan and when he spoke his voice was soft and reassuring.

"I know the full moon is tomorrow Remus has told us of your remarkable.. ability. Do not go to him tomorrow it will be unwise for certain people such as the headmaster to find out. Remus will be safe I promise you. Also if you could please tell my son to at least attempt to hide his infatuation with Harry id much appreciate it." Lucius grinned before turning and walking swiftly down the corridor and out of sight.

With a confused mind Kiyan got ready for bed hoping that in the morning he would be able to process the knew information he had been told.

Remus had enjoyed catching up with his old friends immensely and their plans for the full moon were simple but still he worried. This would be the first time in years that he would be near his mate and be without his son. Although Severus's reassurances on the potions ability made him feel more at ease he found himself agitated none the less.

He had very little time to talk to Lily, James or Sirius although he had kept his word and asked Kiyan about seeing Sirius as he had expected his son had angrily refused. Where as Remus was beginning slowly to rid himself of the anger he had carried around for far too long Kiyan would not. He felt properly insulted for his father and no amount of pleading would alter what the three had done. Remus had sighed and nodded, at least he had asked.

On the night of the full moon he met up with Lucius and Severus and they carefully secured the Potions room behind the classroom (Severus's private lab) for the transformation. After taking the foul potion Remus whimpered as the moon began its torturous transformation of his body.

Panting Remus uncurled his wolfs body and nodded a quick jerky little movement at his friends who sighed in relief. This was not because they feared the potion would not work but it was a reassurance that Remus was as all right as he could be.

During the moons rising Kiyan broke off from his conversation with Harry and Draco who had just said indignantly "He knew that sly bastard!" to look worriedly at the moon hanging seemingly harmlessly in the sky.

"Don't worry Kiy he'll be fine." Harry reassured his friend who nodded sighing shakily.

"Im not used to not being there for him. I don't like it." He laughed bitterly.

No amount of comforting words eased Kiyan that night and exhausted from talking until the early hours of the morning the three fell asleep in their meeting place, the room of requirement.

I am so sorry for the wait for this chapter, iv had some problems with my computer a few weeks ago and iv just gotten it fixed. Not my best chapter I don't think but at least Remus has talked to James, Lily and Sirius. If anyone has any suggestions for this story please tell me as im not exactly sure where to take this.


	7. Chapter 7

When Kiyan stumbling tiredly from the Room of Requirement hurried to the Potions room it was one thing on his mind. His papa. Knocking quickly filled with an urgent desire to know how his papa was that had filled his very being the whole night he wasn't quiet prepared for Lucius to open the door wide enough to see who it was then grab the front of Kiyan's robes and haul him inside.

With a minor glare aimed at Lucius, Kiyan scanned the room quickly seeing his papa meekly drinking a cup of tea whilst casting slight glares at Severus who stood watching him sternly. Hurrying to his fathers side he hugged him tightly from behind being careful not to knock the newly recognised healing tea.

"Papa comment il a disparu?" _(How did it go?)_ Kiyan asked immediately and unknowingly reverting back to French.

"Pas le mauvais" (_not bad) _Remus replied with a tired smile directed over his shoulder at his son.

" All went well last night Kiyan." Lucius informed him softly.

"Although rest is of course advisable." Severus intoned seriously.

"And in advisable you mean he had better." Kiyan said smirking at the slight pout forming on his papa's face.

"Of course. If only Remus would listen and understand the strain he's putting himself under." Severus said with a mock sigh only to be caught by surprise when Remus conjured a pillow and directed it into Severus side making Severus gape in shock.

"Well if that's how you react to being cared for I pity Madam Pomfrey for once in my life. How she looked after you in school I have no idea." Severus said with an injured tone.

"Hmm I believe it was very difficult I would much have preferred to be in my classes." Remus said with a smile.

"Mentioning classes, don't you have homework?" he asked Kiyan who groaned.

"Aww thanks professor. Not only did you direct his attention to the fact I have homework but it's the homework you set that I've got to be doing." Kiyan complained making the adults chuckle.

"I wanted to see how you were doing papa. I'll go do finish my homework off now." Pressing a soft kiss to his fathers cheek Kiyan sauntered out of the potions class Lucius's comment of "He's getting scarily like Draco" ringing in his ears.

True to his word Kiyan headed to his common room and gratefully sunk into the armchair by the fire, summoning his homework to him he worked silently trying to ignore the whispers of his fellow housemates. Just as he packed away his things a fifth year boy came striding confidently forwards the whole house going silent.

"Where did you go last night? It is within our as in Ravenclaw's best interests you know to know whether you're a savage animal once a month." He said pompously his lips curling towards the words 'savage animal'. Kiyan saw red but kept a calm mask on his face as he turned his suddenly cold amber eyes flickering to all those in the common room.

With a sudden lunge he had his hand around the boys throat and flung his against the wall leaning some of his weight against the boy so he couldn't kick him. His eyes were icy and his face was stony as he suddenly laughed a chilly hair raising laugh that shook them all to their very cores. With a slight squeeze to the terrified boys throat he moved back releasing the boy who whimpered pitifully.

"Since you think you know so much about me why not tell me where I went?" he challenged daringly to the scared common room. No one uttered a sound.

"Now lets get this clear. You. Don't. Know. Shit. About. Me. And if anyone says anything about my dad again so help me god they'll need a search party to find you." Kiyan snarled swinging his backpack onto his shoulder he casually walked out of the common room, once he got out of the entrance portal he leaned against the wall with a shuddering sigh he squeezed his eyes closed hoping that the tears prickling the back of his eyelids didn't fall.

"Hey, are you ok?" A soft female voice cut threw his thoughts and he hurriedly stood straight his eyes opening and he hoped to Merlin his eyes weren't red. Standing seemingly unsure was a girl of his age with the Ravenclaw crest on her robes, he vaguely remembered seeing her a few moments ago in the common room.

"Do I look it?" he snapped.

"No you look like shit. Nice work by the way you managed to get the lot of them pissing their pants within five minutes. Prejudicing bastards." She said her voice turning harsh at the swear words. She walked over to him and slid down the wall into sitting position her elbows on her knees. Sitting next to her he noticed her faded jeans.

"Do you know the good thing about muggles?" Kiyan said randomly. Seeing her confused look he continued.

"Is they rarely see what's really happening. I mean look at how this world is completely hidden from them. Werewolves don't exist to them so they cant judge." Kiyan finished softly.

"Don't listen to Mark he's a pompous arsehole. Its none of their business anyway about where you go and about your dad. They shouldn't have insulted professor Lupin like that." She said her soft voice held complete sincerity and Kiyan grinned before standing offering her his hand to help her up.

Deciding to get away from the common room he walked glad when she fell into step beside him.

"Im Kiyan by the way." He said with a grin.

" Anna." She said holding out her hand, shaking it with a grin Kiyan felt the day marginally improve as he walked with his first friend from his own house down to the Great Hall.

After eating a slightly eventful dinner in which his house sent fearful looks in his direction Kiyan noticed Sirius look at him and the entrance Hall pointedly with a concealed sigh Kiyan nodded before redirecting his gaze. After saying his goodbyes to Anna he stood after seeing Sirius leave a little over two minutes ago.

Sure enough Sirius was waiting by the double doors and offered him a tentative smile when he saw his son.

"Hello Kiyan." He said in his silky soft voice.

"What do you want?" Kiyan asked looking out at the lake, feeling his happiness at dinner dim a little. He didn't think he could deal with this right now.

"I just wanted to know how you're settling in? And to congratulate you on getting into Ravenclaw we haven't had much chance to speak since before the sorting." Sirius kept his gaze upon his son who pointedly looked outside.

"Yeah. Its good I suppose. I prefer France." Kiyan said noticing Sirius's little frown of concern.

"Look iv got homework is there anything else you wanted?" Kiyan asked hoping against hope that the conversation would be over quickly.

"Actually there is. I hoped we could meet up at least once a week you know to get to know each other." Sirius saw a flicker of anger in his sons eyes.

"No." Kiyan snapped before hurriedly leaving not noticing Anna silently following. He left Sirius's shoulder slumped form in the entrance hall.

"Kiyan! Hey Kiyan wait up!" Anna hurried to catch up to her friend. He slowed his pace a little but didn't turn to look at her as she breathlessly tried to keep up with his hurried pace eventually she placed her hand on his arm and turned his round to face her cutting of his brisk walk.

" Look I don't know much about you I get that but I think you should reconsider meeting with Professor Black." She said breathlessly.

"Your right you don't know much about me. And why in hells name would I want to meet with him?" he demanded the anger he felt simmering below his skin all day rearing it's ugly head.

"Because he's really trying. You have no idea how hard it is to ask someone for forgiveness or another chance. You didn't see how disappointed he was after you left." She said her voice trying desperately to get him to understand something that he couldn't see.

"So?" He practically shouted.

"So? That's what I said to my drunk of a mother who asked for me to forgive him for running out on my dad and me. I turned her away every time she tried, she got into a car accident one time and she died days later I never got my chance to know her because I never gave her an inch. You should re think because one day he's not gonna be around to ask for your forgiveness any more." Anna said softly her voice had risen to a desperate peak and she had gradually lowered her voice her blue eyes sparkling with a layer of tears that she blinked away. Kiyan stood there looking at her with wide eyes until she said she'd meet him alter and to think about what she said. Impulsively giving him a hug she turned and walked back to their common room.

Kiyan walked in a daze to the Owlery leaning against the window he breathed in the cold air closing his eyes briefly his and Anna's conversation ran through his mind. After several minutes or for all he knew several hours passed he pulled his bag onto the ledge and dug through it until he found some spare parchment and a quill.

**_The Library Friday 7o'clock. K_**

Turning over the words in his mind Kiyan whistled to one of the owls that obediently flew to his arm so he could tie the small piece of parchment to the owls leg. Stroking the owls silky head he just let himself feel. The air whirling into the airy room the cold wind tugging on his robes making them blow behind him flapping at his sides and the backs of his legs.

"Take this to Sirius Black for me ok? I don't need a reply." He whispered before carrying the owl to the ledge and letting the bird go. Quickly grabbing his bag after hurriedly throwing his writing equipment back into his bag he walked quickly from the owls tower and wandered aimlessly for a while not really caring where he went. That is until he heard a loud and angry voice exclaim "WHAT DIDYOU SAY MALFOY!". Hurrying around the corner Kiyan saw a redhead he knew to be Ron Weasley one of Harry's best friends along with a bushy haired girl that stood out as Hermione Granger.

"I said could your family sink no lower, to be dating a mudblood I mean really some people just don't know the meaning of taste." Draco sneered before seeing Kiyan a flicker of recognition flashed in Draco's eyes that you had to have looked carefully for to notice before his eyes turned cold again.

"You filthy ferret!" Ron made to lunge forwards but Hermione held onto his arm warningly.

"Now, now Weasley I thought Hogwarts didn't allow fighting." Kiyan said stepping out of the shadows as he saw Ron turn to look in his direction.

"He started it." Ron said childishly, Kiyan could already feel his irritation flare with the redheaded boy.

"Oh please what are you five!" Kiyan said rolling his eyes he saw Draco look on amused. Ron spluttered for a minute.

"What do you know about this git Ravenclaw!" Ron spat.

"Ohh he knows my house have a gold star for being such a smart little boy." Kiyan clapped his hands as sarcasm laced his every word.

"Ron lets just go," Hermione hissed pulling on Ron's arm as her boyfriend grew red with anger.

" Yes Ronnie you'd better go before you make an even bigger fool of yourself." Draco sneered. Hermione tugged harder on Ron's robes successful in dragging him away.

"You wait Malfoy and you Ravenclaw I'll get you one day!" Ron yelled before he was dragged around a corner.

"I look forward to it!" Kiyan yelled in his direction before laughing at the indignant look Ron had adopted when Kiyan stepped in.

Kiyan turned to the small band of Slytherins flanking Draco and with a short inclination of his head he grinned before turning and walking in the same direction Hermione had gone.

"Nice arse Ravenclaw!" Draco called Kiyan could practically hear his grin.

"Later Slytherin's" he called over his shoulder with a grin. Feeling considerably better Kiyan headed to his common room. He soon regretted it though for as soon as he did the talking immediately died down and the room was filled with fearful looks and tension so thick you'd need a chainsaw to get through. Feeling his mischievous side rear its head again he snapped his teeth together in a mock impression of a beast and laughed as the room jumped. Smirking he sauntered off to his room.

After taking a relaxing shower he dried off before getting into his pyjamas and gratefully sank onto his bed. Suddenly a voice in the back of his head flared to life warning him to place wards around his bed in case any of his dorm mates didn't appreciate his performance earlier. So tiredly setting up the wards it took him a solid exhausting hour before he could finally go to sleep.

The rest of the week flashed by for Kiyan classes were normal and boring if not as much since he had Anna to talk to. They had briefly and uncomfortably apologised for snapping at each other and silently agreed to avoid the subject from now on unless either really wanted to talk.

He rarely ate in the Great Hall that week opting instead to go to the kitchens, his housemates had attempted to get back at him that night after the full moon and he now kept his wards up every night just in case. They were hostile to him and in retaliation he sneered at them pretending that he wasn't unhappy with the turn of events.

He, Harry or Draco barely had time to meet up as when Kiyan was Free Draco was busy with homework or at quidditch and so was Harry. His papa was busy with classes and grading work so again he had very little chance to talk to him although Kiyan got a little depressed and angry he pushed it away angrily telling himself that it was he who had wanted to attend Hogwarts not his papa.

Thursday night found Kiyan laying awake his arm above his head as he stared at his bed hangings as he thought about he meeting between him and Sirius due tomorrow. He had not received a reply to his note which he was silently glad of he would talk to Sirius once a week like he requested until that day he didn't know. It had been such a trying week and he was feeling more than a little messed up. Turning Kiyan clenched his eyes closed tightly hoping for sleep. He had a restless night and he was cranky by the next morning but resigning himself to Transfiguration and history he rolled out of bed and got ready.

Unlike the days before Friday did not pass quickly but when it came to five to seven and Kiyan was sat at an empty table in the library resolving to finish of his homework so he had the weekend free he wished that the ground would swallow him whole. For the world he looked cold and impassive but inside he didn't feel in the slightest bit ready to have this talk with Sirius Black the man he had focused nearly all his anger on for so many years (The rest if his anger was for the Potters not including Harry of course).

So when a shadow fell over his face he ignored the presence and after a few seconds he sighed irritably before kicking a chair with his foot so Sirius could sit opposite him. He heard the chair scrape across the carpet and he looked up briefly to see the blue eyes of his biological father looking at him focusing entirely on him.

"Well?" Kiyan said expectantly. Hey he agreed to meet him it didn't mean he would automatically become his best friend.

"Thanks, for you know rethinking about meeting up it means a lot." Sirius said softly. Kiyan nodded his eyes once again focusing on his homework.

"Lily and James wanted to know if they could come after a few weeks I said id . " Sirius trailed off as Kiyan's angry eyes locked onto his own.

"No." Kiyan practically growled.

"They'd really . " once again he was interrupted.

"I said no! If their coming then im not this was stupid I'll just go." Kiyan stood gathering up his books and parchment he felt Sirius reach over and gently take hold of his wrist halting his movements.

"No please. Please wait." Sirius pleaded softly inwardly cursing himself.

Kiyan looked at him his the skin around his eyes tightening suspiciously before he relaxed nodding once he dropped his stuff into his bag before sitting back down in his vacated seat.

Sitting opposite Sirius he crossed his arms and waited.

"So what is this about? Is this the part where we say hi my names whatever and rile off our middle names?" Kiyan said impatiently.

"No. but if your curious it's Orion." Sirius smiled slightly.

"Your mother gave you Orion as a middle name?" Kiyan asked incredulously.

"Yep. Sirius Orion after two stars." Kiyan snorted and rolled his eyes.

"You sound like a sleazy motel manager."

"You mentioned last week that you preferred France. Are you not settling in here?" Sirius asked slightly worried.

" No, im fine here. I have near to no friends and classes are a bitch but no im perfectly happy here." Not even Albus could have misheard the sarcasm dripping from every word he just said.

"That bad? As a boy I loved it here the best thing my parents did for me I think enrolling me here." Sirius smiled fondly.

"It's also where I met your dad and James and of course Lily." Sirius smiled not noticing the rising panic filling Kiyan. He had almost forgotten who this man was. Of what this very man had almost done and the fact that Sirius had hurt his papa.

"I've got to go." Kiyan said hurriedly standing and picking up his bag and manoeuvring out of his chair. Sirius stood almost as quickly a confused look on his face.

"Wait. Please. What did I do?" he asked his eyes wide confusion and longing in his blue eyes, Kiyan felt his own eyes widen as he looked into his fathers eyes.

"Nothing. That's enough." He said not turning away.

"Enough?" Sirius whispered.

"It's just. Look it's enough for tonight alright?" Kiyan walked away mixed emotions stirring within him.

I think this is my longest chapter as of yet! Yay me lol I will update shortly my inspiration for this story has been awakened but if anyone has any ideas or opinions on this fic then please tell me. Please review!!


	8. Chapter 8

Lost Lupin's Chapter 8

POV: Remus

Since starting at Hogwarts my doubts and worries about returning were easing, although being near my Slytherin friends helped. It must seem unusual the friendship we have to anyone but us it most likely is. When I saw those Gryffindor Boy's attacking them it just seemed so wrong like watching the act as a bystander finally made me see what me and the Marauders had been doing. Bullying them. Guilt had tore at me so despite still hating them I helped them, it makes me laugh now when I remember them forcing out their thanks.

It's not like we immediately became friends that truly would have been a miracle. It's just when we partnered in classes or if we passed in the hallways we would be civil. Only eventually it turned to more, when I would be at the library and no one would let the Slytherin's sit with them I would make room and they would nod. Most people thought it was simply me being a good prefect but really their behaviour began to sicken me. It would be hard to say when exactly we became friends, I cant remember the exact time, place or circumstance my memory is slightly jumbled like one minute we weren't friends the next we were. Simple really.

So Hogwarts was bearable even more so that me the Potters and Black had talked. I suppose bitterness infects people when you allow it to fester deep within yourself and I think in holding on to all that badness of my past I forgot to look at the good things that came of it. My son and the life we had built together, the job I had in France and the friends we had made. We had lived good lives in France and although I often think of what would have been I wouldn't change it for the world.

I know that there are whispers of my 'condition' that have flooded through the school since my arrival and I can ignore it well after all I've had my life's worth of vicious gossip. I worry about Kiyan, how the students interact with him isn't what I would want but had reluctantly thought about. They were distant sometimes openly showing their hatred for him. It hurt to see my only child close himself off, to build defences mentally that shouldn't be there but are and you know it's because of you.

I have noticed a girl that Kiyan is friendly with and I am glad that at least one Ravenclaw isn't against him. Whenever I mention or ask how things are going when we meet on the weekends he always shrugs and say's it's nothing. My heart aches at his lies.

I also know that Kiyan is meeting with Sirius once a week as he had nervously told me last weekend after their first meeting. He had told me that one of his friends had lived to regret a decision like his and he had decided to see how it goes. I am happy for Sirius although the wolf inside me is snarling and insecure that the man who is my mate will betray me again by taking my son away from me I force it away. It is selfish of me to lay a claim on a human being like my son is a possession. He is old enough to make his own choices and I respect that and I deal with the worries that may often occur after one of his decisions.

He tells me how he feels about the meetings with Sirius, how mixed he is about It all but when he tells me that he feels he should be angry for me I tell him instantly to stop. It is my place to be angry for myself not to burden him and I tell him so, he nods anyway and he gets this thoughtful look on his face that always makes me remember his childhood and he smiles a grin I recall haven't seeing since locating to Scotland. I whisper into his ear as I embrace him that he should smile more often and he clings to me just that little bit tighter. And when he leaves I wonder if all parents feel this sad watching their child slowly walk away from them even if it is only for a short while.

POV: Normal

Kiyan knew his papa worried about him about how hostile his house had become it no longer bothered him as much. Anna would often hang around him making him laugh when he was sad. It was nice to have such a good friend who somehow knew when you were sad and do almost anything to make you smile. Even if it meant getting into trouble with a prefect, which she had when she had hexed the words 'Bite me Wolfie' across Mark's forehead and neck. Even the rest of Ravenclaw had cracked up at that one.

So things weren't as bad as they could be the boys in his dormitory no longer tried to hex him in his sleep, none the less he kept the wards up knowing if he slipped up he would regret it.

Seeing Harry and Draco wasn't proving to be as difficult as before since they had gotten into their school routines by now and nearly everyone knew when they had free time. Kiyan hadn't introduced Anna to his other two friends opting instead to keep the friendship secret, not that he didn't trust Anna it was just they both had separate friends and they respected that.

Still Harry had found out about the fight between Kiyan and Ron, he had pleaded with Kiyan to not antagonise Ron, Kiyan hadn't made any promises. It was a good job really considering Ron got his revenge on Kiyan that night.

It was the end of dinner and Kiyan was walking with Anna when he heard Ron say Loudly "Oi Lupin!"

The noise of the crowd around them dimmed immediately and Kiyan turned slowly his amber eyes slitted dangerously.

Ron was ignoring Hermione's pleas to stop and he drew his wand pointing it at Kiyan who raised an eyebrow.

"Ron! Stop it!" Harry said angrily causing the Gryffindor boy to look at him shocked.

"No, he insulted me and Mione. How can you tell me to let him get away with that?" Ron practically bellowed. Harry wrinkled his nose in disgust as he eyed his friend.

"If you do this, attack him like this then that's it our friendships over. I don't attack other students Ron and I don't condone anyone else doing it either." Harry said seriously. Ron looked shocked then hurt before his anger returned this time he directed it back at Kiyan not giving him a chance to defend himself he sent an offensive spell at him. The spell hit Kiyan straight on and he gasped for breath the spell squeezing his lungs as though someone was holding his lungs. He couldn't breath and he was feeling a pain in his chest and all he could see was Ron's satisfied face and the crowds horror.

Thinking a spell in his mind he sent the disarming spell flying at the red head who immediately lost his wand. The pain eased a little but the spell had set off a panic attack something he hadn't had for years. His hands came to his chest pressing down hoping to ease it a little but it wasn't working. God he couldn't breath! Hermione was in front of him know kneeling before him her wand pointing at his chest.

"Finite!" she said desperately she didn't understand that it wasn't the spell anymore that it was his own body that was causing the pain he was feeling. By now the crowd were looking scared and horrified and someone had run off to the Great Hall for a teacher. It was Lily Potter who arrived first running to Kiyan's side she reached out to try and help but Kiyan had seen his papa and lurched forwards, he had fallen to his knee's at some time he realised he didn't remember falling. Remus hurried to his son worry and panic rising within him.

"Slowly," he whispered as he gently held his son's heaving shoulders. Kiyan tried once again to calm his breathing to slow it down but panic had it's claws in him and it wasn't letting him go easily.

Kiyan could feel the darkness of unconsciousness swirl behind his eyes and with one last desperate look at his papa his eyes rolled into the back of his head as he slumped forwards. But before he lost consciousness he saw Sirius his face worried and fearful and he finally saw what Anna had been trying to explain to him that Sirius did care.

Kiyan was slumped on the floor Remus holding his head as Madam Pomfrey fought her way through the crowd. His son's chest was heaving clearly in distress and Remus turned his amber eyes onto a white faced Ron Weasley. No one commented on how Harry and Draco were stood side by side looking lost and helpless as they saw their friend struggle to breath. Madam Pomfrey waved her wand over the limp boy and she quickly drew her want over Kiyan's chest directly where his lungs and heart were a blue glow like a shield held itself over Kiyan's chest before sinking down into his skin.

Remus watched as his son's face relaxed and a sigh escaped his son as the pressure eased and his son could breath normally again. Not caring about the crowd around him Remus pulled his son to him hugging him his eyes still wide and fearful at the thought of how close his son had come to possible death.

"Mr.Weasley the headmaster would like a word with you." Remus heard Minerva's strict voice cut through the silent hallway and he felt the crowds intake of relieved breath's.

Sirius and Remus followed Madam Pomfrey as she levitated Kiyan to the hospital wing where she forced a potion down his throat when he woke briefly he fell quickly back into darkness not long after swallowing the potion.

"He was lucky. The spell cast on him wasn't meant to have such an effect but im presuming he has had panic attacks as a child?" at Remus's slight nod she continued. " Because he wasn't breathing normally his brain wasn't receiving enough oxygen with caused his heart to work faster, in doing that if he hadn't been treated he would have had a premature heart attack." Madam Pomfrey finished grimly.

"A heart attack?" Sirius whispered looking dazed.

"Im afraid so, he will need to stay in here for a few days and take some potions after he is released to help control his breathing if he ever has a panic attack again." With that she turned and left for her office.

Remus was sat holding his son's hand and tears welled on his eyes as he thought of a life without his son. Sirius seeing the tears of his mate tentatively put his hand on his shoulder. Remus tensed immediately but he relaxed slowly, the wolf needing the comfort of his mate and if he cared to admit it to himself Remus also needed the comfort Sirius was offering. He fell asleep like that tightly holding onto his son's hand afraid that if he let go Kiyan would leave his life forever, Sirius's hand was still on his shoulder and Remus thought sleepily that it was nice to have his mate close if only for that moment.

Hey, it's a short update and im really sorry for the wait! I've had to go into hospital and have been too ill to carry on my fics. Im still unsure of where exactly I want this fic to go so all comments and suggestions are welcome! Im very fond of reviews (hint, hint)


	9. Chapter 9

Lost Lupins chapter nine

Kiyan woke abruptly a dull ache in his chest made him wince. Looking around he deduced that he was in the hospital wing and that someone was clinging to his hand. Looking at his left hand his eyes softened as he saw his papa sleeping with a death grip on his hand. What shocked him the most was the hand that was gripping his papa's, Sirius was also asleep beside Remus both looked exhausted and worry lines were more prominent.

Shifting slightly Kiyan closed his eyes at the sharp sting of pain that shot through his heart and the burn on his lungs. Flashes of his confrontation with Weasley of the curse that had hit him and the pain he had felt as a panic attack struck him.

"Kiyan?" Sirius looked up hopefully. He had seen Kiyan shift slightly though his son's eyes had still been closed.

"How long have I been out?" Kiyan tried to ask but his voice came out a croak. Sirius carefully levitated a drink of water to his son who nodded once before taking a grateful sip.

"You've been out for a day mostly because of the potions." Sirius said and Kiyan could see the relief in his father's blue eyes.

"The other reason?" Kiyan asked his throat already feeling better as he continued to sip at the cool drink.

"You had a panic attack, which if we'd been any later would have escalated into a heart attack." Sirius said only a little bit hesitant to tell his son how bad it could have been.

"A heart attack!" Kiyan whispered in disbelief. Remus shifted just then and murmured something neither could hear before he settled again.

"Why is he still asleep?" Kiyan asked his brow creased.

"I slipped him a sleeping potion." Sirius said nonchalantly.

Kiyan raised and eyebrow surprised.

"He was exhausted, he sat up convinced himself that if he fell asleep something awful would happen to you." Sirius said sadly looking at his mate tenderly.

"You know he's going to be pissed when he does wake up don't you?" Kiyan said feeling amused.

"Yeah well I'd rather he be pissed than exhausted." Sirius said fiercely and Kiyan was struck with how much Sirius seemed to care, and almost as quickly shoved that thought back into the recesses of his mind.

"And don't swear." Sirius said as an afterthought.

Kiyan looked into the mischievous eyes of the older man and stuck his middle finger up at the man feeling his own playfulness awaken.

"Now I know you learnt that from Remus." Sirius laughed at Kiyan's shocked look.

"Are you serious?" he asked then a second after he realized what he said he interrupted his father.

"Don't even think of using that old joke." He warned his lips twitching into a smile.

"Wonder when he'll wake up." Sirius said conversationally when Remus gave a little snort.

"Don't you know?" Kiyan asked his eyebrows raised in disbelief at Sirius's sudden interest in the floor.

"Well I was more concerned about how I was going to slip him the potion." He admitted with a shrug.

Kiyan sighed and settled back into his pillows for the first time he took a good luck around his little cubicle.

Cards and chocolates decorated the bedside table and he felt a warm feeling spread throughout him, he had forgotten that his friends would be worried.

"Shouldn't you tell someone I'm awake?" Kiyan directed at Sirius.

"Well yes I should. I kind of want Moony to wake up first coz they don't know I slipped him the potion." Sirius said a blush staining his cheeks as Kiyan crossed his arms over his chest.

Before he could say anything Remus stirred an unpleasant look crossed his face as he groaned.

"Sirius I'm going to kill you." He hissed though no real malice could be heard. He sat up gingerly clutching his head.

"Eurgh, get me a pain reliever Black since you caused this." Remus ordered, he still didn't know that his son was awake as he hadn't opened his eyes knowing that the infirmary was extremely bright, not good if you had a headache.

Sirius grinned at Kiyan and stood gently pulling his hand away form Remus's and got the potion from the bedside table.

He handed the potion to his mate and watched with a sympathetic look as Remus swallowed the potion with a grimace. He also witnessed the moment when Remus realized that Kiyan was awake. In a blur of movement Remus scooped Kiyan into a hug clinging to his son who returned his embrace just as fiercely.

When their emotions settled the two pulled apart and Kiyan was unlucky enough to find Madam Pomfrey standing with her arms crossed a stern disapproving look on her face directed at Sirius who looked sheepish.

For once she ignored it and got on with the checking spells on Kiyan's health.

"How are you feeling this morning?" she asked as she read the results of her tests.

"I'm ok apart from a bit of pain around my lungs and heart." He replied honestly. He saw her frown before she rummaged through her nurses pouch and pulled out three potions.

"This is a pain remover," she pointed to the smallest potions bottle that was filled with a chilled blue potion.

"This will stabilize your lungs an extra precaution, if you feel as though it's not working come see me, that also includes if you have a panic attack." She handed him the two potion which he reluctantly swallowed.

"This last potion will shield your heart from strain for at least a few days, although you may need a pain remover once the one you've just taken wears out. For that you can come back and see me or see Professor Snape." She said after he swallowed the potion obediently she smiled kindly at him before bustling away.

"Drink?" Kiyan asked directing it at Sirius who fleetingly looked surprised before grinning and called a house elf who delightedly took the order of three glasses of pumpkin juice.

"What happened to Weasley?" Kiyan asked suddenly once they'd finished their drinks. Sirius got a dark look on his face.

"Detentions for a lifetime." He said anger lacing his words, Kiyan was inclined to agree.

"So he almost gave me a heart attack and all he gets is detention?" Kiyan said disbelieving.

"I'm afraid so, although Molly wasn't pleased, came to see you hoping to apologize." Remus said smiling a little at how genuinely distressed the woman had been, how her concern had touched him despite the fact that it had been her son who had done the damage.

"Think I can have some chocolate?" Kiyan asked looking longingly at the piles of chocolate he had on the bedside table.

Remus laughed as he plucked a few bars of chocolate from the pile and dumped them on Kiyan's lap.

"Draco brought most of this; quite the mother hen really isn't he?" Sirius commented looking faintly amused as both Lupins (Remus had been handed several bars of chocolate) tucked into their chocolate.

"Hmmm." Kiyan agreed before concentrating on his chocolate. Once they'd both finished their bars they looked longingly at the rest of the pile.

"You can't possibly eat anymore chocolate!" Sirius said astonished.

"We can." Kiyan disagreed reaching for a chocolate frog.

"No, no way you'd better save the rest for later don't you think? Plus your friend will be coming round soon don't want them to see that amusing show on how quickly you both consume chocolate." Sirius laughed as Kiyan pouted, glad to be feeling like his father instead of someone just short of being a friend.

They didn't have long to wait before a group of mixed houses entered the hospital wing. Slytherin's, Gryffindor's and two Ravenclaw's they looked relieved at seeing him awake and Draco practically bounded over.

"Good your awake." Was he said as he bent down and kissed his cheek before sitting down beside Sirius who was looking like he was hyperventilating.

"It helps to breathe." Draco pointed out helpfully and Sirius despite himself rolled his eyes.

"How are you feeling?" Hermione Granger asked tentatively.

"Better." Kiyan said smiling a little at the girl; she had tried to help him after all. He was glad when she smiled gratefully at him.

"You scared the hell out of me Wolfie." Anna said her voice thick with emotion, Kiyan held out a hand to her and she took it allowing him to pull her into a hug.

"I'm fine see? Plus this gives me an excuse to sit around and eat chocolate." He joked trying to ease the tension.

"Yeah, until your kicked out of here." Anna snorted and moved out of his embrace and standing beside Luna Lovegood who smiled at Kiyan. She had always seemed slightly strange to him but they had talked sometimes so he grinned back at the her.

"Well we'll leave you to talk. Come on Remus." Sirius said gently to his mate who had been about to protest. Remus sighed.

"Alright but no getting out of bed. And no more chocolate until I get back." Remus added as he was guided out of the infirmary.

The unusual group talked pleasantly for over an hour before Kiyan asked about Weasley.

"He was called to the Headmaster's office. He got loads of detentions and a hundred house points taken but nothing else." Hermione said her voice laced with anger.

"The whole of the School is ignoring him apart from the people that dislike you. Of course the Slytherin's were ignoring him before but they've stepped up on the insults." Blaise said smirking.

"All of Slytherin?" Kiyan asked.

"Yep." Blaise replied.

"But why? I mean I'm friends with some but not the whole house."

"Because you're my friend of course." Draco replied sticking his nose in the air mockingly.

"Well that definitely answers for itself doesn't it?" Anna said smirking.

"Who knew Ravenclaw's could be amusing." Blaise commented Anna rolled her eyes but she was grinning.

"We have to go now." Luna said suddenly, her eyes on the ceiling.

"The headmaster is on his way here. We have to go now." She said again in her dreamy voice. Mostly she was ignored until the Headmaster stood in the doorway of the infirmary the Potter's and Kiyan's parents with him.

"How did she do that?" Blaise hissed at Draco who shrugged looking faintly amazed himself.

They gathered their bags and after saying goodbye left quickly. The group left chattering amongst themselves and the headmaster made his way to Kiyan's bedside.

"It's so good to see inter-house relationships don't you think?" Dumbledore commented, Kiyan looked at him as though he were barmy.

_Probably is, old bastard._ Kiyan thought as his papa sat beside him, his dad's shoulders were tensed once again and Kiyan cursed inwardly.

"What do you want?" Kiyan asked bluntly a cool demeanor settling over him.

"We wanted to see how you are." Lily Potter piped up, she smiled at him.

"Yes and to tell you that Mr. Weasley is being severely punished for his attack upon you." Dumbledore smiled kindly at Kiyan who forced down a scowl.

"Severely punished?" Kiyan repeated. " yeah detention and house points deducted is really severe." He continued sarcastically he crossed his arms over his chest clearly not impressed with the Headmaster's form of punishment.

"Mr. Weasley has learnt his lesson, no further punishment is required." The headmaster replied his voice hard and insistent. In a blink his demeanor changed back to the caring grandfatherly type and he excused himself before leaving.

"Bastard." Kiyan muttered.

"Kiyan." Remus said warningly, Kiyan looked sullen before nodding once.

"You look a lot better." Lily said and James nodded in agreement.

"Yes, I'm conscious now in case you didn't notice." Kiyan replied sarcastically.

Although Kiyan and Sirius's relationship had grown, Kiyan had refused any contact with Harry's parents except for classes. He could only cope with so much and he was only just learning how to act around his father let alone his papa's ex friends.

"I see you have some admirers." James commented placing an arm around his wife who looked like she was about to cry.

"Their called friends look it up." Kiyan answered ignoring the warning look Remus sent him.

"Kiyan apologize." Remus said softly.

"No." Kiyan said stubbornly.

"I mean it Kiyan," Remus said again his voice in full parental mode.

"So do I. I don't want them here, and I don't want them pretending that everything's alright because it isn't." Kiyan hissed angrily he closed his eyes and focused on tuning out the adults low voices.

"That was very rude, I'm disappointed in you." Remus said firmly bringing his son back to awareness.

"I don't know how you can act like nothing ever happened." Kiyan retorted, he was feeling far from happy.

"I'm not. Just you didn't have to be so rude I didn't raise you to act like that." Remus reached for Kiyan's hand hurt when his son shifted out of his reach.

"I need to be alone for a bit." His son's voice seemed so cold and unfeeling that Remus nodded sadly and left.

Kiyan crumpled as soon as Remus was out of the infirmary. He had acted all day that he was fine, that he wasn't fazed by how close he ad come to having a heart attack but it had frightened him. The terror when he realized what was happening. He closed his eyes and sighed. And then their was the confusing emotions swirling about him, how he longed to be a son for Sirius but still a part of him hated his father for what he had done. He didn't understand why all of this was happening at once, he wanted so much to be able to get to know his father properly without holding anything back but he couldn't, it just wasn't that easy.

Today had been brilliant in a way that he had been so focused on not letting anyone see how effected he had been that he had been able to let Sirius in and he had reveled in how it was him who had made his father smile like he had. But then the Potter's had expected him to be forgiving with them too and all of this was just too much.

Kiyan hugged is pillow to him and cried muffling his sobs, his crying exhausted him and he soon fell asleep. He dreamed of searing pain throughout his body, of being unable to breath and the suffocating need for air consumed him. He thrashed about trying desperately to focus on anything but the fact that he was blacking out.

"KIYAN!" A voice yelled near his ear and slowly woke his chest felt like it was on fire. Blinking he saw Sirius's worried face peering at him the lights around the ward enabling him to see. He felt pressure on his shoulders and he frowned confused.

"Wha?" he asked he yawned he was so sleepy.

"You were having a nightmare." Sirius released his shoulders and tentatively he tenderly tucked a lock of Kiyan's hair out of his sons face. Sirius sat down heavily.

"It was about the attack wasn't it?" Sirius asked softly. Kiyan looked at the ceiling and nodded.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of, I would be scared too. I was attacked at school too." Sirius said softly, their gazes locked and he smiled a little in what he hoped was reassuringly.

"What happened?" Kiyan asked.

"I was pushed down the stairs by the Great Hall. I cracked my head open, broke an arm. I was unconscious for a week worried Moony like mad of course. Then when I woke up I'd get these terrible nightmares, and it was always the same thing over and over, me falling endlessly and then feeling the pain again." Sirius trailed off as a hand tentatively slipped into his.

"I argued with dad." Kiyan admitted his voice sleepy again.

"If he comes, tell him I'm sorry?" he asked sighing tiredly.

"I can go tell him." Sirius promised and made stood, a pull on his hand made him stop, he looked at his son's suddenly wide awake eyes.

"Stay? Please." Kiyan whispered and at Sirius's nod he closed his eyes and slipped into a peaceful sleep.

During the night Sirius stayed awake holding his son's hand and soothing him when he whimpered in his sleep. Kiyan woke only once more, it had been because of a flash of memory of the attack but once he'd seen that Sirius was still there he relaxed back into sleep.

About four in the morning an exhausted looking Remus padded lightly across the ward to his sons cubicle. He stopped dead in his tracks as he saw Sirius then smiled slightly as Sirius looked at him his eyes filled with delight.

"Sit. You look exhausted," Sirius nudged the chair beside him with his foot and Remus obliged by sitting.

"How is he?" Remus asked.

"He's had nightmares. I told him about the time I was pushed down the stairs and he settled. He's been a little restless but he calms down if you talk to him." Sirius said smiling softly.

"I should have been here." Remus whispered guiltily.

"He asked me to tell you if you came by that he was sorry." Sirius squeezed Remus's shoulder comfortingly.

"I should have been here anyway, despite the fact that we argued. What if something had happened and I wasn't here?" Remus felt traitorous tears slip down his cheeks.

"You can't always be there for him Moon. Besides I was here, you don't have to do this alone anymore. I want to be there for him and for you." Sirius said his voice full with genuine honesty.

Remus closed his eyes and a stray tear fell down his pale cheek, with a sob he buried his head into his mates shoulder, slipping his arms around Sirius in an embrace he hadn't felt in far too long. Sirius wrapped his free arm around Remus and comforted him through his sobs, until Remus fell asleep.

Sirius looked at his little family and smiled before he settled into sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

Things were a lot more frustrating to Kiyan the day after his heart warming conversation with his father. He woke irritated with a headache, his irritation had eased slightly when he saw his papa and his father leaning against each other relaxed in sleep, Sirius had a protective arm around Remus and one hand still gripping Kiyan's. the reassurance touched him deeply as he remembered how his father had comforted him the night before when his nightmares plagued him.

When his parents had finally woken Kiyan's irrational irritation had all but gone and they spent an enjoyable breakfast together where Kiyan found that he had little difficulty in allowing Sirius in, he enjoyed seeing his father's eyes light up whenever he talked to him.

Sadly the day did not go as well, Kiyan was released from the hospital wing although Madam Pomfrey was extremely reluctant, Sirius had asked whether or not it would be alright for him to spend the first few nights of Kiyan's release with his son and Remus. Both Lupins had agreed that Sirius would stay a few nights in Remus's quarters which housed a room for Kiyan that he would be using for his recovery, Sirius would take the couch.

The journey back to Remus's rooms however were eventful. The students passing would point and whisper to Kiyan's anger, he was walking slowly as too much movement caused a stab of pain to slice through his chest. This also fuelled the usually active teen into cursing colourfully at anyone who pointed to him. Helping their son along Sirius and Remus exchanged worried looks over Kiyan's head until he stopped and glared at them.

It was an exhausting hour later when they finally arrived at the rooms, and Kiyan sank gratefully onto the couch. Sirius ordered them some food and they chatted lightly over there meal, that is until Dumbledore arrived with a letter in hand, the three men had a feeling they knew who the letter was from, Kiyan hoped that the headmaster would go away so he wouldn't have to deal with Ron Weasley so soon.

"My dear boys, I am sorry to interrupt your meal but I had thought it best to deliver this letter now." Albus said his annoying eyes twinkling merrily as he handed the letter to Kiyan who took it his hands shaking.

"I don't want to read it." Kiyan whispered looking at Sirius for reassurance.

"I do believe it would be best to deal with Mr. Weasley's apology whilst the situation is at this stage. Forgiveness is a great form of healing." Albus said smiling in a way that made Kiyan wish to tear the man apart.

"He said he didn't wish to read the letter yet headmaster. As the letter is addressed to him it is our sons decision." Sirius said the hint of annoyance plain in his voice.

"Very well. I hope to see you all at breakfast tomorrow." The headmaster's twinkling eyes dimmed and he turned and left.

Kiyan was looking shakily at the letter his eyes to seeing the parchment but the memory of the attack, the tightening pressure on his lungs. Gods he couldn't breathe!

Soothing hands rubbed small circles on his back, something so old and familiar to him and he gradually sank back in comfort a sad sigh escaping him.

"I already hate this." He said quietly as he stood slowly and walked to his room not wanting any company at that moment.

Pov Remus

My beautiful son did so well until the meddling old fool showed up with the letter, my cub looked so distressed and lost. I knew when a panic attack gripped him and I tried to withhold my own anxiety as I tried to calmly rub soothing circles on his back. When he was a child and he first started with panic attacks it was the only thing that would comfort him.

I watched sadly as my son retreated to his room, I knew he needed the time on his own but it did not stop me worrying or the need to keep my cub within my sights. I had nearly lost him, a werewolf's protective urges go up if one of their pack is harmed, even more so for a mate or cub.

Sirius hesitantly reached over and gently squeezed my hand, I allowed it and mustered small yet sad smile for him. He had been a comfort and a part of me delighted at having my mate near me again, whilst part of the wolf in me snarled at me for letting him near. My heart had sang when I saw the tenderness in which my mate cared for our son the night before, I could see my son's once solid defences crumbling as he allowed Sirius into his life and heart. I was still undecided, could I risk being hurt again and worse put my son at risk of hurt too?

"Remus? Are you alright?" Sirius asked he was frowning slightly which turned into a smile when he saw my eyes focus.

"Hey, where'd you go to?" he asked lightly.

"I was just thinking. Everything's happening so quickly." I sighed and his hand gripped mine a little tighter in a gentle squeeze.

"What would you have done if you hadn't chanced upon me and Kiyan that day in France?" I asked suddenly not knowing why I needed to know.

"I would have kept looking until I found you. I never stopped looking, if I hadn't found you, which thank Merlin I did, then I never would have stopped looking." He answered looking at me straight in the eyes honesty radiating off him in waves.

"I saw how much you care for Kiyan, I saw that you love him. I need to know that you'll be there for him whenever he needs you. That you wont hurt him." I asked my voice sounding soft and unsure.

"I do love him, very much. And I promise you that I will never hurt him, and I'll be there if he needs me. I promise that I'll be there for both of you." Sirius looked sincerely at me and I nodded throat tight with emotion.

"Thank you." I whispered daringly I kissed his cheek as I stood and walked to my room. His soft voice stopped me my back to him.

"I love you." I turned slightly so he could see part of my face, so he could see the soft smile I sent him before I turned and walked into my room gently closing the door behind me.

Just a small update, it's been far too long since I last updated. A few things have happened and I haven't had the inspiration to write, but now im feeling better so hopefully more frequent updates hopefully with longer chapters lol. A big thanks to all that have reviewed and encouraged me to continue this story.


	11. Chapter 11

It had been three months since Ron Weasley attacked Kiyan and all in all Remus thought his son did well in dealing with the aftermath. Many students had been almost overwhelmingly kind to the point where Kiyan grew frustrated with the attention. Luckily though his friend Anna (who seemed utterly amused) would gently tease his son until Kiyan calmed down. Anna it seemed was a close friend to Kiyan and Remus was grateful that his son had friends that stood by him.

Things had also improved between him and Sirius, with his mates determination it was no wonder that Remus felt that he was falling for Sirius all over again. It was the small acts that showed Remus his mates love for him. Little packages of chocolate appearing on his desk with a paw print as the only signature, or how Sirius would rush from his class to Remus's and walk with him to dinner or back to the Lupins rooms where they would eat and talk about there day. Or maybe it was the weekends and they had free time and Sirius would spontaneously ask Remus to take a walk around the grounds. Once agreeing (as he always seemed to do) Remus would walk beside Sirius and gradually over the walks Sirius would edge closer and gently take hold of Remus' hand and smile soft smile that made Remus feel as though he'd melted.

The Potter's however were becoming an increasing problem, there own determination to talk to Remus was annoyingly suffocating. When he wasn't with Sirius or there son Remus found that the Potters would pleadingly ask to talk or go to the village. Remus was tired of there attempts at apologies and found that really he didn't want to become friends with them again. Sirius he knew he would have eventually forgiven after all they were mates and they had a son together, but James and Lily he had no obligation to befriend again.

Harry and Kiyan were close friends and Remus pondered over what would happen when he and Kiyan returned to France as they had intended to do. He couldn't expect his son to cut ties with Harry nor would he ask him to. He was fond of Harry himself, he had adored the boy as a baby and when Kiyan visited he often invited Harry and the three would talk pleasantly. It would be a shame if his son and Harry could not see each other as often, and with the Potters being persistent it would be unlikely that they would allow there son to spend time in France without inviting themselves as well.

Sighing Remus ran a hand over his face tiredly. Familiar hands settled on his shoulders and slowly began massaging until Remus relaxed. Turning Remus tilted his head back so he could see his mate who smiled softly at him and caressed his cheek.

"What's wrong?" Sirius asked voice as soft as silk. Remus didn't answer just gazed into the blue eyes of his soul mate. Winding a hand up to Sirius's shoulder he playfully skimmed his fingers over Sirius's s neck until his fingers found smooth black locks, tangling his fingers in his mate's hair he tugged gently until there lips met in a gentle kiss.

They kissed for several minutes until they needed air and they pulled apart Sirius smiled and his eyes flickered over Remus' face as though he was trying to memorize the moment and store it forever. Sirius had his arms wrapped around Remus' shoulders and he tightened his hold slightly, Remus didn't like the sofa that separated them and tilting his head back he looked pleadingly at Sirius.

"Sit with me?" Sirius just smiled a little delighted smile that made Remus rejoice in being the one that caused it. Sirius walked round the sofa and sat beside Remus who hesitantly rested his head against his mates shoulder, an arm snaked around his waist and the next thing he knew Sirius was laying down and pulling Remus with him. Sighing contently as he wrapped his arms around Sirius's toned stomach and allowed the moment to calm his racing mind until finally despite it being dinner time on a Saturday, the two fell asleep.

Kiyan's POV

It was a Saturday dinnertime and I was bored. No I was way beyond bored, Anna was shopping with some of her girl friends and no way was I being dragged into that. Harry and Draco were of groping each other so basically I was on my own. In the past few months since Weasley attacked me Hermione Granger had tentatively become a study companion, we discussed our classes and we sat together in the library whilst doing our homework, I'll admit I like her, she's smart if a little bossy but she's off with some Gryffindor girls most likely shopping like Anna.

Finally deciding to visit my dad I head over to his rooms, I don't knock since I know the password and head on straight into the living room intent on complaining about how bored I am. I stop dead in my tracks when I see my dad curled up with my father both fast asleep there arms wound around each other comfortably. For lack of a manly word they look sweet and had I not been a guy I probably would have said "awww".

Silently placing my bag beside the comfy chair opposite the sofa I pull out a book and sit to read finding my restlessness had vanished and I was perfectly content to read.

I looked up from my book what felt like five minutes later at the sound of my dad groaning which means he's waking up but he really doesn't want to. I smile when I see my father shift and the arms around my dad tighten, my dad's eyes open sleepily his mouth curving in what im sure is unthinkingly into a smile.

Checking my watch im startled to realise that two hours have passed.

"Afternoon." I say softly mindful of father whose eyes are still closed. Dads eyes flicker to me startled and I smile in that way that makes him instantly suspicious.

"What have you done?" he asks warily. I smirk and shake my head telling him im not going to answer, he wont know that I took a picture of him and father in a moment of inspiration. I would never forgive myself if I didn't take at least one picture of the adorable scene.

"Like we'll believe that." Sirius puts in, I look at him and squint, I can just about make out one of his eyes is in a slight slit.

"Very clever, I thought you were still asleep." I say admiringly.

"He's been perfecting that since second year." Dad says fondly. I like these days when we can be a family, where I can grin at the affection I can see they have for each other. Since the attack I have been more open minded to father, it was surprisingly easy to accept him but it was harder to admit that I liked him after all those years of blinded hatred.

I haven't said it but I do love my father, probably not as much as my papa but I think that's to be expected, you cant force years of love into three months. I need more time I want to enjoy these family days as much as I can because I know once this years over me and dad are going back to France and im not sure whether or not father will be coming with us.

"Kiyan?" father asks gently he can tell when im thinking and not really listening.

"Sorry." I apologise.

" So what are you doing here on a Hogsmeade weekend?" Dad asks.

"Anna's gone shopping with some girls same with Hermione and no way am I falling for that again! Harry and Draco are off groping each other. I thought we could talk or something. Of course I didn't know that you would be asleep, it's a good job I didn't bring Anna otherwise she's be saying how adorable you are." I roll my eyes grinning.

"Adorable?" father wrinkles his nose in distaste.

"Don't worry though I'll make sure she sees the pictures I took, maybe by the end of the week you'll aloud of adoring female students." I smirk evilly something that I've learnt from Draco being friends with a Slytherin has its benefits, to be friends with a Slytherin you have to think like one.

"What pictures?" Sirius asked voice dipping in a way I know sounds dangerous but is actually more mocking.

I glance at my bag and there eyes follow it, I count to three in my head before we spring into action, grab my bag and run as they follow me laughing all the way. Im finally caught in between them as dad tickles my sides unmercifully. The laughter leaves us and I wrap my arms around Sirius and delight in feeling my family with me. Feeling suddenly emotional I think of when the year ends, of leaving father here at Hogwarts whilst me and dad go back to France. How could we leave him? My heart pangs as I think of my family, the one iv quickly come to love being split apart. I cling to my parents even more and I can feel there confusion but they comfort me as my eyes squeeze shut in an effort to stop my tears.

I don't know how long we stand there holding each other but reluctantly I pull away and go back to sit in my chair, they sit silently back on the sofa and the fun feeling of happiness from earlier is gone and a sombre silence fills the room.

"When school finishes are . . are you staying here?"

Once again I apologise for the lateness of this chapter. I hope to start the next chapter tomorrow so hopefully it will be up either this week or over the weekend. Thanks again for all the wonderful reviews I live for them.


	12. Chapter 12

Lost Lupins Chapter 12

My sons question sparks a tendril of dread through me. I thought of leaving Harry and Kiyan leaving his friends but I had not thought of leaving my mate. How could I not think of this? The inevitable possibility that me and Kiyan will return to France and Sirius will stay at Hogwarts. After all he had a well paid job, free boarding and James and Lily who I would not ask him to leave.

I stare dumbly at my son who looks so uncertain and sad, Sirius glances at me but I cannot look at him I cannot tear my eyes away from the sad form of my only son. Could I ask him to give up the father he has grown to love after years of not knowing him? Could I bear to rip our small family apart? All those years ago I left my mate to protect my cub, it was necessary for my child's survival. But our family rebuilt itself. And I don't want to leave my mate behind again.

"We haven't discussed this yet Kiyan." Sirius says gently but I can detect the underlining hint of sadness. So suddenly we have become sad again.

"If Sirius wishes he can come to our home in France anytime." I add softly smiling hesitantly at my mate who smiles radiantly.

"We'll need to discuss this more but I promise you, both of you that I will not leave you willingly." Sirius stands and pulls our son into a hug. The heart warming scene is made all the more when Kiyan winds his arms around Sirius and hugs back just as tightly.

In that moment as my son and mate embrace a smile rides unbidden across my face as a feeling of peace settles over me. Our little family will be fine Sirius's words moments before only back that knowledge up.

POV Kiyan

I don't know how long I stood holding my father my face buried in his chest, when I finally let him go I returned to my seat feeling an awkwardness settle over me.

"How is your school work coming?" Father asks and I smile slightly grateful as the awkwardness leaves.

"Not too bad. The Ravenclaw's are still being pricks." I add darkly.

"Kiyan!" Dad exclaims and I smile charmingly.

"Sorry dad. But they are. It's like they think I don't know that they watch my every move as soon as it gets near full moon. Bunch of self absorbed little twits!" my voice raises slightly in anger as I remember the glances I always receive days before the full moon.

My lips twitch as I see father snickering.

"Sirius! Don't encourage him." Dad says wearily, even though I can see his own lips twitch.

It's amusing seeing the way both my parents try to be parental but can't help but see the funny side of things. Big kids really I swear.

"If it gets any worse tell me and I'll have a word with the headmaster." Father says after he's finished with his snickering. A sombre mood remains.

"Im sorry you have to deal with this my son." Dad says quietly.

"Why are you sorry? It's not your fault dad there just bigots." I say quietly willing him to take in what im saying. He smiles softly.

"This is far too serious conversation. Why don't we go out and do something completely wild?" Father asks ignoring pointedly the snort dad gave to the suggestion.

"What do you suggest? There's hardly anything 'wild' about Hogwarts." Dad says one eyebrow raised.

"Point. We could play quidditch? Or go to Hogsmeade."

I nod; going to Hogsmeade with my family is a lot better than being coerced into shopping with a bunch of giggling girls.

When we reach the village we head almost automatically to the three broomsticks, father ushers me and dad into an empty booth whilst he goes to order drinks.

"He'll spike them." I say stoically. Dad grins and pulls out a load of pranking gear that im guessing he filched from fathers pockets.

"I learnt early on never let Sirius buy you a drink without checking his pockets first." Dad grins as I laugh.

When father arrives at our table three drinks with him he looks reproachfully at dad. 

"You sneaky wolf." He's grinning though and we drink in comfortable silence occasionally talking about something or another. 

It's only when I look around the pub properly that I notice Draco and his bunch of Slytherin's, feeling my eyes on him Draco frowns and looks about finally spotting me he smirks. I smirk back and see the slightest smile on his face. I wonder where Harry is seeing as the two were meant to be spending the day together.

"I'll be right back." I say as I slip from my parent's booth and casually walk to Draco's.

"Where's Harry?" I whisper in his ear. His Slytherin friend Blaise knows me so doesn't say anything as I approach.

"His parents wanted a 'family day' called on him about mid morning. They might be heading here so watch it." Draco scowls; he's a firm hater of the elder potter's.

"Thanks for the warning. What about your father? He still about Hogwarts?" I ask curiously.

"Yeah, im due to see him later probably another lecture on how to keep my hands away from Harry." He smirks devilishly.

"Iv got to get back to my parents. See you later?" I ask 

"Yeah sure. Meet you about seven?" he replies.

"Yeah in the usual place. See you." I walk off smirking at the looks the students from Hogwarts are giving me. 

On returning to the booth my parents are in it's to find my father craning his head to look at me.

"what was that all about?" although over the past couple of weeks Sirius has been a lot better with me being friends with Draco I can tell he still doesn't like it all that much.

"Just asking him if he'll meet me later." I reply not glancing at my father. I know this is something we'll most likely never agree on. I get uncomfortable talking about Draco in front of my father because I know he doesn't approve of our friendship. I wonder how he'd react if he knew about Harry's relationship with the sneaky Slytherin.

Less than half an hour after my conversation with Draco and the three Potters enter the three broomsticks. I have to stifle my laughter at the look on Harry's face, he looks far from happy.

"Siri!" James Potter calls out and with a small smile to me and dad he stands and walks towards James.

"I guess our family outing is over?" I whisper to dad who has a strained smile on his face.

"I'd say so. Do you want to return to the school?" 

"Not really. Cant we look around the shops?" I ask desperate for the so far pleasant evening not to end.

"Of course we can." Dad smiles and stands and I do the same, walking beside him we pass father and the Potters.

"Hello Remus." Lily Potters soft voice rings out and dad stops and politely smiles her way.

"Lily."

"Won't you sit with us?" she asks a note of pleading in her voice.

"Sorry professor my dads taking me shopping before we have to be back at the school. We haven't got time." I smile forcedly.

"Oh well perhaps we could meet you both later on back at the school." James asks his smile overly eager.

"Im meeting someone later." Im getting sick of this and by now my voice isn't so polite. I look pointedly at Harry who nods barely.

"How about you Remus?" Lily asks. I see the barest glance at my father's direction before my dad gives in and agrees.

We leave the pub and I sigh in relief, but im angry at my dad for agreeing to meet two people he clearly doesn't like anymore.

"Why did you do that? Agree to meet them?" I ask softly.

"For Sirius, you may not have seen son how much it pains your father to see us and the potters so clearly distant. They are still his friends whether we like them or not. The least I could do is agree this once, for your fathers sake." 

I look away from my dad and fume in silence.

"Do you know how much Sirius has given us since arriving at Hogwarts? He has given us love and support and we have our family back because of him. For all the years I raised you on my own did you believe I didn't long for you to have both your parents? Yes anger fuelled my judgements and I did everything I could to avoid them but Sirius is back in our family and like he has sacrificed things for us I will do this for him. It is only an evening." Dad carries on voice full of emotions that wash over me, confusing me.

We carry on walking and I find my interest in the shops has gone. I want nothing more than to return to the school.

"I don't want to shop anymore." I say quietly I turn and head back to the school pretending I don't see the worried looks my dad sends me. I don't talk on the way back and say a quiet bye to my dad once we reach the entrance hall. I don't hug him and I know that he's worried, I feel his on me all the way up the stairs until he can't see me anymore.

POV Remus

My son's silent figure disappears up the stairs and I wonder at his silence. Worry fuels through me for a reason I am unsure of. It is natural for parents to worry about there children though, I think as I head back to my own rooms. 

Kiyan may not understand this but I feel like I ought to give Sirius something back for everything he's done the past few months. Because of him I have the family for my son the one I dreamed of the day I realised I was pregnant. 

The look of raw pain in my mates eyes caused me to agree to the meeting and although I have no further wish to become friends with Lily and James again im sure I can tolerate there presence for one evening.

Settling on the sofa I pick up a book and begin to read, there is nothing I can do at the moment until Sirius returns and tells me when and where we are meeting the Potters.

I hear the door open softly and place a mark in my book I close it gently and set it on the table.

"Hey." Sirius's quiet voice fills the room. I turn and smile albeit a little strained.

"Hey."

"Thank you." I look down when he says that and only glance up when he sits beside me and puts his head on my shoulder.

"I know you don't . . . like them anymore and I know that you don't really want to do this. But thank you." He mumbles softly into my shoulder. I have to clear my throat before I can answer.

"When are we meeting them?" I whisper.

"In half an hour or I should say fifteen minutes. We're to go to there rooms." 

I stand dislodging him from my shoulder and I feel his slight confusion.

"If we're supposed to be there in fifteen minutes shouldn't we set off now so were not late." I remind him smiling genuinely. He leaps to his feet and hugs me tightly before grabbing my hand and practically bounding out of my rooms. 

By the time we get to the Potters rooms im laughing breathlessly and Sirius is grinning delightedly beside me.

The door opens and Lily's smiling face beckons us in, I feel the happiness drain away from me as though a dementor is near and the smile upon seeing Lily instantly vanishes.

Im lead into a room most like the Gryffindor common room the décor is so like our old common room that unwanted memories flash behind my eyes. I close them tightly willing them away.

"Remus?" Lily's hand rests gently on my arm and I rear away from her as though burned. 

"Remy are you ok?" Sirius whispers into my ear and I focus on him, my mate and I calm the memories fading away into the very back of my mind.

"Im ok." I say voice rougher than I meant to make it.

"Please sit down." James smiles and indicates the sofa which I sit stiffly whilst Sirius slouches.

Lily is still stood the stricken look still on her face until finally James guides her to the other sofa.

A house elf pops in and arranges tea and an assortment of cakes. For a while all we do is sit in silence sipping our tea whilst everyone but me helps themselves to the cakes.

"This is just like old times." Lily says suddenly and I stiffen. The three glance at me and I stare into my tea cup until they look away.

"Perhaps we should do this more often? I can dig out the photo albums if you'd like." And this time she's saying this to me directly.

"No. im sorry but no." I can't stand this. I thought I could tolerate this for Sirius's sake but I just can't. So many memories and so much hurt.

"Please Remus. We were friends once we can be like that again." James says everything about him pleading.

"No we can't. That friendship ended all those years ago. You may be able to forget what happened but I can't. I won't. You want that friendship back but I . . . I don't!" the sickness I feel nearly doubles as my voice raises the words I just spoke like a physical slap to there faces. Setting down my tea cup I rise and press a soft kiss to Sirius's cheek.

"Im sorry." There sat there frozen as I walk out without looking back. 

Im so sorry for the lateness for this chapter. Recently my house has been having a lot of work done on it and added with the stress of everything else I just haven't had any inspiration to continue with my stories. I hope you'll all forgive me. 


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